Guilt

SO, last week was a TOTAL bust. I ate horrible the whole week, and felt even worse due to both feelings of guilt and failure, and also due to an upset tummy often after my eating.

I kept thinking, I will get back on track tomorrow - but I said that everyday, so tomorrow never came.

I saw my WI buddy on Sunday and told her that I was not going to my meeting on Monday because I just COULDN'T face the scale (at last check at home I was up more than 6lbs). She told me that she was up a bit too and that we should both get back on track this week and make a promise that no matter what, we would be back next week.

Still, the rest of Sunday I ate poorly, and then Monday I was marginally better, but still not completely OP.

Then this morning, I read it - I was catching up on the blogs here and saw the post for the BLBE and saw that I was the top 'loser' for team lean last week!!! I should have felt so happy, but instead all I felt was GUILT!!! Guilt for letting myself fall so far away after such a great week. WHY WHY WHY??? I wish I knew why I do these things, I know that that is part of the key to this whole journey, that if I want to reach my goal (which I DO!!!) and maintain a healthy lifestyle for the rest of my life (hello, that's why I'm here) then I need to get to the bottom of why I get off track - and yet still, after MANY years of yo-yo dieting and the last 7 months on Weight Watchers I still have no clue as to WHY!

Hopefully it will come, and one day I will have the epiphany that answers that question for me - but for now I just need to be OP, get back on track with both eating and exercise (was I ever on track with exercise?) and move forward - and by forward I mean downward - lol

Also, a big SHOUT OUT to my friend Lisa who got third place on team angie!!!

a great start to the week!

Today:

-Got to watch my daughters class sing at a Kiwanas festival first thing this morning!

-Went to my WW meeting and was down 2.6!!!!

-Have another showing of our home booked this afternoon.

-Dog is at the groomers so he can get cleaned and combed (yay, he was getting stinky)

-I feel great

I can't wait to see what else this week has to bring!

WOW - It was LOOSE

Well, my inlaws came up tonight for dinner and I needed my MIL help with altering a dress I bought, so I put it on to show her. She couldn't get over how "small" I have gotten. She asked if I have ever tried on my wedding dress since losing all this weight. I hadn't.

A few years back when I got down to 160 I tried it on, and it did NOT fit. Body had changed too much after the kids.

I was 165 on my wedding day (11.5 years ago). I know a few years ago (and a few yo-yo diets ago) it didn't fit, but I thought, why not, give it a try, I'm under 150 now.

IT WAS LOOSE!!!! It was quite tight on my wedding day  - and now it is REALLY LOOSE!!! And I still have 25 lbs to goal - this is so great!

What a great NSV - I am on cloud 9.

lots going on

So, I've been a sicky sue the last few days. Wednesday evening I started to feel nauseous and that didn't stop until early this morning. I literally didn't sleep at all Wednesday since I kept feeling like I was going to vomit (nothing happened) and then all day yesterday I had the same feeling. I only had some diet ginger ale and a banana yesterday. Then I took some gravol and went to bed at 6pm!!!! crazy. I slept right through till this morning, and I am still not 100% but at least I can function. All I have had so far today is more diet ginger ale and a ancient whole grain roll - but I plan on trying some soup for lunch in a few minutes. (In case there are any wonderers out there - I can't get pregnant, so I'm not.)

On a happier note - our house went on the market yesterday and I just got a call from our realtor's office setting up 2 viewings for this weekend. I hope that they go well because we found a house that we ABSOLUTELY love (perfect house, perfect area, pool), but their asking price is too high so we are hoping to offer them a lower price, but in order to give a good offer we would like to give a firm offer (i.e. not conditional upon the sale of our house) so it would be nice if we could sell quickly.

Keep your fingers crossed for me that we sell QUICKLY!!! lol

The Biggest Loser VS. us at home!

What an emotional episode it was tonight. I think that the makeover one always is - but I like it.

I feel very sorry for Laura that she got injured, but I am glad that she went home. It would really have stunk for her teammates to keep her around solely for the purpose of a vote - and I believe that that is what it would have been. I was so glad to see Mike vote for her to go - and to give Kristen one more chance. I know that they keep saying that she (Kristen) is the biggest threat - but I don't see it like that. I don't think that she can pull the numbers that she needs to to win. I just don't think that she can compete with Tara - who is like the energizer bunny. Frankly, I am kind of sick of seeing Tara win everything.

I was really hoping that Sione would win - but now I guess I am pulling for Filipe. I don't think that he has enough drive to do it - but I can still hope.

But think of it - they are doing it there, at the ranch, with all the equipment, trainers, medical professionals, food, vitamins, supplements and help.

WE ARE DOING IT HERE, 

IN THE REAL WORLD, 

WITH FAMILIES, 

COMMITMENTS, 

SCHEDULES, 

DAILY DUTIES

AND EVERYTHING ELSE THAT GETS IN THE WAY.  

WE ARE DOING IT!!!!

WHAT HAVE WE DONE TODAY TO MAKE US FEEL PROUD - A LOT!!!

Easter Weekend

Well, I made it through Easter weekend barely scathed. I ate one small pack of mini-eggs, I can so deal with that. The hard part is NOW when my house is filled with SO much chocolate that the kids got. I knew that my in-laws would buy them a ton, so why did I do the same???? I definitely wasn't thinking at the time of how hard it would be for me to have it all in the house.

Anyways, today was WI day and I am happy to say that I am down 1.4 lbs and officially out of the 150's!!! WOO HOO!! I spend way too long there. I am also happy to realize that I am less than 25 lbs from goal. That sounds so much more manageable then when I started 42 lbs ago.

I got a new bike (have I mentioned that yet?) and I absolutely LOVE it - it is so comfortable and easy to ride. I need to go to the store today to get the hubby some oranges, so the kids and I are going to take our bikes!!! I'm so excited.

great week so far

I had one blip in the week as far as eating goes = and that was Monday, so I feel like I can make it up before WI next Monday.

Since then I have been completely OP. No exercise, but I have been very busy with housework, painting and organizing so we can put this house on the market - so its better than my usual routine of sitting around on my behind - lol

My hand is so much better. The wound is completely healed - now just waiting for the scar to go away, but it is not very noticeable since it is just an extension of one of the lines on the palm of my hand. The ER Dr. said that if I go to have my palm read they may give me an incorrect reading - lol. Not really my thing anyways. The only thing with my hand is that sometimes when I try to use it I get a weird sensation inside it - almost like it was 'asleep'.

I am looking forward to a great long weekend. 

-Tonight we will have a quiet dinner at home to remember the night that Christ suffered in he garden of Gethsemene, and we will read the account in the scriptures of Easter with the children

-We are planning on moving alot of our stuff to storage tomorrow so that the house will show better. Then we will probably take the kids to see 'Monsters VS Aliens'. 

-The kids have their sports on Saturday morning and then they have a party to go to in the afternoon (yay, 3 hours that the hubby & I can have to ourselves). 

-Sunday will be the easter hunt, followed by church and then maybe a nice afternoon of bike riding (if the weather permits - which I think it will) Did I mention I got a new bike!!! I am so excited.

HAPPY EASTER EVERYONE!

WI day and new mini goal

So today is WI day and I came SO close to getting out of the 150's forever. I am now EXACTLY 150.0!! Lost only 0.2 but I'm okay with that. I feel re-energized and refocused.

I decided that I needed a new mini goal since I feel that those have helped me in the past. My daughter has a cheerleading banquet on May 13th, and I want to get a new dress for that, so I figured that would make a perfect mini goal. There are 5 wi's between now and then so I have chosen 7 lbs for my goal. I thought about doing 10, but it has been a LONG time since I averaged 2 lbs per week, so I figure that 7 is doable, but still challenging enough that I will have to work for it.

The house is really coming along. We have been painting, organizing and cleaning like mad. We hope to put it on the market next week.

Had a great day yesterday - took the kids for a 5k walk along the lake (fast walk since the kids were on their bikes). It was a great beautiful sunny day. Of course today is miserable and snowing - MAN, gotta love this Ontario weather.

Have a great week blogging buddies!