Back for fess-up time.

So, the guilt I felt last week didn't seem to kick me back into gear the way that I had hoped it would. I followed last weeks horrible week with another horrible week. I truly thought that i could just skip my ww meeting last week and then get back on track on my own - that was not the case. 

I have many excuses why I ate so poorly - but they are just that, EXCUSES! The main one is that since we have showings on our home every day (and usually around the dinner hour) we have eaten almost every single dinner out over the last two weeks - ouch to both my waist and my wallet! 

However, I've been on WW since September (and many times before that) so by now I should have a good solid base of how to make healthy choices even when eating out. I do have the knowledge, I have just chosen to ignore it all.

The outcome - 5.6 lb gain. How pathetic. I now weigh exactly what I did on March 16th. So, I have basically thrown 6 weeks of work out with 2 weeks of CRAP!

I am not happy with myself. However, I knew it would be a bad wi and I still went, so that is something good. I now have more insight into myself and know that I can't miss my meetings just because I don't want to see what the scale has to say - I'm not fooling anyone with that. I also know that my meetings uplift me, Mondays was FANTASTIC and I really left there feeling pumped for the week to come. So, even though we went out for dinner last night AGAIN (please let this house sell soon) I made healthy choices.

On a much happier note - I got my free Hamilton Beach Panini grill today - I can't wait to try it!! Thank you Dempsters - lol. They are now offering a free BBQ tool set with 6 UPCs from buns and $6 for shipping - I think I will get that one next ;)

Guilt

SO, last week was a TOTAL bust. I ate horrible the whole week, and felt even worse due to both feelings of guilt and failure, and also due to an upset tummy often after my eating.

I kept thinking, I will get back on track tomorrow - but I said that everyday, so tomorrow never came.

I saw my WI buddy on Sunday and told her that I was not going to my meeting on Monday because I just COULDN'T face the scale (at last check at home I was up more than 6lbs). She told me that she was up a bit too and that we should both get back on track this week and make a promise that no matter what, we would be back next week.

Still, the rest of Sunday I ate poorly, and then Monday I was marginally better, but still not completely OP.

Then this morning, I read it - I was catching up on the blogs here and saw the post for the BLBE and saw that I was the top 'loser' for team lean last week!!! I should have felt so happy, but instead all I felt was GUILT!!! Guilt for letting myself fall so far away after such a great week. WHY WHY WHY??? I wish I knew why I do these things, I know that that is part of the key to this whole journey, that if I want to reach my goal (which I DO!!!) and maintain a healthy lifestyle for the rest of my life (hello, that's why I'm here) then I need to get to the bottom of why I get off track - and yet still, after MANY years of yo-yo dieting and the last 7 months on Weight Watchers I still have no clue as to WHY!

Hopefully it will come, and one day I will have the epiphany that answers that question for me - but for now I just need to be OP, get back on track with both eating and exercise (was I ever on track with exercise?) and move forward - and by forward I mean downward - lol

Also, a big SHOUT OUT to my friend Lisa who got third place on team angie!!!

a great start to the week!

Today:

-Got to watch my daughters class sing at a Kiwanas festival first thing this morning!

-Went to my WW meeting and was down 2.6!!!!

-Have another showing of our home booked this afternoon.

-Dog is at the groomers so he can get cleaned and combed (yay, he was getting stinky)

-I feel great

I can't wait to see what else this week has to bring!