Just Jen

A fresh start.

2009-11-04T10:29:00.000-08:00

Enough is enough.

I've gained enough weight and finally took control of my life back and went back to weight watchers.

I went Monday, and as I walked in the door I couldn't see my leader, so I slowly stuck my head around the divider - and there she was. She lifted her head up, saw me and smiled!! She came out from behind the counter, gave me a big hug and said "I'm so glad that you didn't give up." It felt so nice, it truly felt like 'coming home'.

I've gained back most of what I lost, but I'm trying not to worry about that - and just move on.

I'm excited to get back to blogging and reading everyone's daily adventures.

dare I say it......

2009-07-23T09:13:00.000-07:00

back AGAIN!

Man, this is becoming a theme for me.

Well, 3rd times a charm - RIGHT?

I had decided on Sunday that NO MATTER WHAT I was going to my meeting on Monday. When I spoke with my ww buddy, she wasn't really keen on going because she knew she would be up, but when she heard that I was going she decided to go too.

We both faced the scales, and it was NOT pretty. I am officially 14 lbs heavier than my lowest weight which was on April 20 - 14 lbs in 3 months !! THAT STINKS.

I weigh the same as I did on DEC.29 so basically I am more than 6 months behind - THAT REALLY STINKS!!!

What hit home for me was that as I was sitting there waiting for the meeting to start, I saw a poster for a WW contest to be a success story. I VOWED to be a success story - and now, here is a contest, staring me in the face.

Had I stayed on track, I may have been at goal, or at least, very close to.

Well, I still want to be a success story. I got an entry form, and I have posted it on my fridge. I have until the end of September to enter, so I have until the end of september to get my butt in gear, and lose weight.

wish me luck ;)

back again

2009-06-01T10:35:00.000-07:00

Well, I haven't been posting here very much because I have been so disappointed in the choices that I have been making, so I haven't wanted to talk (write) about it.

The good news is, I AM BACK! The house is sold, and the new house is bought - so life can now get back to normal.

I really didn't handle the situation of house hunting and having the house on the market well at all - I totally threw all my hard work aside and reverted back into old patterns that got me fat in the first place. Through the month long process (or just a bit longer than a month) I gained 8.6 lbs!! YUCK

Last week at my meeting I was pretty quite. My leader came up to me afterwards and reminded me how far I've come. She reminded me that I've done WW before and never stuck with it this long. She reminded me that at other times in my life this kind of gain would have caused me to quit - but this time I'm still there. SHE IS SUCH A FANTASTIC LEADER!!!!

I wasn't very motivated at that point, and I think she could sense that so she challenged me to change just ONE thing in the following week. Sounded easy enough so I thought I would give it a try. I decided that I wasn't ready to get my eating back on track so I would try to incorporate some activity in my week (yes, EXERCISE - my NEMESIS!!!). So I pulled out the new Wii Active program that I bought and gave it a try. I did it two times last week, and then pulled the muscles in my thighs pretty badly, so that was it for the week - but it was something.

I was down 1.6 at wi today, so its a start. Only (yeah right, only) 7 more lbs to go to get back to where I was. But I know I will do it, I will get there. I am not going to give up. This weeks lesson was geared towards motivation and things we can do to get us back to the point where we were highly motivated - JUST WHAT I NEED!! So I left there feeling rejuvenated - ready to tackle this head on, and to make good choices this week.

We don't move until August 27th, so I have time to drop some more weight and hopefully my new neighbours will never know the fat Jen - just healthy Jen.

In case you want to see it, here are a few pics of the new place. (We love it and are super excited - I took 80 pics, but will just post one of the exterior and two of the kitchen - I LOVE MY KITCHEN!!)

Back for fess-up time.

2009-05-05T09:24:00.000-07:00

So, the guilt I felt last week didn't seem to kick me back into gear the way that I had hoped it would. I followed last weeks horrible week with another horrible week. I truly thought that i could just skip my ww meeting last week and then get back on track on my own - that was not the case.

I have many excuses why I ate so poorly - but they are just that, EXCUSES! The main one is that since we have showings on our home every day (and usually around the dinner hour) we have eaten almost every single dinner out over the last two weeks - ouch to both my waist and my wallet!

However, I've been on WW since September (and many times before that) so by now I should have a good solid base of how to make healthy choices even when eating out. I do have the knowledge, I have just chosen to ignore it all.

The outcome - 5.6 lb gain. How pathetic. I now weigh exactly what I did on March 16th. So, I have basically thrown 6 weeks of work out with 2 weeks of CRAP!

I am not happy with myself. However, I knew it would be a bad wi and I still went, so that is something good. I now have more insight into myself and know that I can't miss my meetings just because I don't want to see what the scale has to say - I'm not fooling anyone with that. I also know that my meetings uplift me, Mondays was FANTASTIC and I really left there feeling pumped for the week to come. So, even though we went out for dinner last night AGAIN (please let this house sell soon) I made healthy choices.

On a much happier note - I got my free Hamilton Beach Panini grill today - I can't wait to try it!! Thank you Dempsters - lol. They are now offering a free BBQ tool set with 6 UPCs from buns and $6 for shipping - I think I will get that one next ;)

Guilt

2009-04-28T06:57:00.000-07:00

SO, last week was a TOTAL bust. I ate horrible the whole week, and felt even worse due to both feelings of guilt and failure, and also due to an upset tummy often after my eating.

I kept thinking, I will get back on track tomorrow - but I said that everyday, so tomorrow never came.

I saw my WI buddy on Sunday and told her that I was not going to my meeting on Monday because I just COULDN'T face the scale (at last check at home I was up more than 6lbs). She told me that she was up a bit too and that we should both get back on track this week and make a promise that no matter what, we would be back next week.

Still, the rest of Sunday I ate poorly, and then Monday I was marginally better, but still not completely OP.

Then this morning, I read it - I was catching up on the blogs here and saw the post for the BLBE and saw that I was the top 'loser' for team lean last week!!! I should have felt so happy, but instead all I felt was GUILT!!! Guilt for letting myself fall so far away after such a great week. WHY WHY WHY??? I wish I knew why I do these things, I know that that is part of the key to this whole journey, that if I want to reach my goal (which I DO!!!) and maintain a healthy lifestyle for the rest of my life (hello, that's why I'm here) then I need to get to the bottom of why I get off track - and yet still, after MANY years of yo-yo dieting and the last 7 months on Weight Watchers I still have no clue as to WHY!

Hopefully it will come, and one day I will have the epiphany that answers that question for me - but for now I just need to be OP, get back on track with both eating and exercise (was I ever on track with exercise?) and move forward - and by forward I mean downward - lol

Also, a big SHOUT OUT to my friend Lisa who got third place on team angie!!!

a great start to the week!

2009-04-20T07:55:00.000-07:00

Today:

-Got to watch my daughters class sing at a Kiwanas festival first thing this morning!

-Went to my WW meeting and was down 2.6!!!!

-Have another showing of our home booked this afternoon.

-Dog is at the groomers so he can get cleaned and combed (yay, he was getting stinky)

-I feel great

I can't wait to see what else this week has to bring!

WOW - It was LOOSE

2009-04-18T18:56:00.000-07:00

Well, my inlaws came up tonight for dinner and I needed my MIL help with altering a dress I bought, so I put it on to show her. She couldn't get over how "small" I have gotten. She asked if I have ever tried on my wedding dress since losing all this weight. I hadn't.

A few years back when I got down to 160 I tried it on, and it did NOT fit. Body had changed too much after the kids.

I was 165 on my wedding day (11.5 years ago). I know a few years ago (and a few yo-yo diets ago) it didn't fit, but I thought, why not, give it a try, I'm under 150 now.

IT WAS LOOSE!!!! It was quite tight on my wedding day - and now it is REALLY LOOSE!!! And I still have 25 lbs to goal - this is so great!

What a great NSV - I am on cloud 9.

lots going on

2009-04-17T10:05:00.000-07:00

So, I've been a sicky sue the last few days. Wednesday evening I started to feel nauseous and that didn't stop until early this morning. I literally didn't sleep at all Wednesday since I kept feeling like I was going to vomit (nothing happened) and then all day yesterday I had the same feeling. I only had some diet ginger ale and a banana yesterday. Then I took some gravol and went to bed at 6pm!!!! crazy. I slept right through till this morning, and I am still not 100% but at least I can function. All I have had so far today is more diet ginger ale and a ancient whole grain roll - but I plan on trying some soup for lunch in a few minutes. (In case there are any wonderers out there - I can't get pregnant, so I'm not.)

On a happier note - our house went on the market yesterday and I just got a call from our realtor's office setting up 2 viewings for this weekend. I hope that they go well because we found a house that we ABSOLUTELY love (perfect house, perfect area, pool), but their asking price is too high so we are hoping to offer them a lower price, but in order to give a good offer we would like to give a firm offer (i.e. not conditional upon the sale of our house) so it would be nice if we could sell quickly.

Keep your fingers crossed for me that we sell QUICKLY!!! lol

The Biggest Loser VS. us at home!

2009-04-14T20:10:00.000-07:00

What an emotional episode it was tonight. I think that the makeover one always is - but I like it.

I feel very sorry for Laura that she got injured, but I am glad that she went home. It would really have stunk for her teammates to keep her around solely for the purpose of a vote - and I believe that that is what it would have been. I was so glad to see Mike vote for her to go - and to give Kristen one more chance. I know that they keep saying that she (Kristen) is the biggest threat - but I don't see it like that. I don't think that she can pull the numbers that she needs to to win. I just don't think that she can compete with Tara - who is like the energizer bunny. Frankly, I am kind of sick of seeing Tara win everything.

I was really hoping that Sione would win - but now I guess I am pulling for Filipe. I don't think that he has enough drive to do it - but I can still hope.

But think of it - they are doing it there, at the ranch, with all the equipment, trainers, medical professionals, food, vitamins, supplements and help.

WE ARE DOING IT HERE,

IN THE REAL WORLD,

WITH FAMILIES,

COMMITMENTS,

SCHEDULES,

DAILY DUTIES

AND EVERYTHING ELSE THAT GETS IN THE WAY.

WE ARE DOING IT!!!!

WHAT HAVE WE DONE TODAY TO MAKE US FEEL PROUD - A LOT!!!

Easter Weekend

2009-04-13T08:04:00.000-07:00

Well, I made it through Easter weekend barely scathed. I ate one small pack of mini-eggs, I can so deal with that. The hard part is NOW when my house is filled with SO much chocolate that the kids got. I knew that my in-laws would buy them a ton, so why did I do the same???? I definitely wasn't thinking at the time of how hard it would be for me to have it all in the house.

Anyways, today was WI day and I am happy to say that I am down 1.4 lbs and officially out of the 150's!!! WOO HOO!! I spend way too long there. I am also happy to realize that I am less than 25 lbs from goal. That sounds so much more manageable then when I started 42 lbs ago.

I got a new bike (have I mentioned that yet?) and I absolutely LOVE it - it is so comfortable and easy to ride. I need to go to the store today to get the hubby some oranges, so the kids and I are going to take our bikes!!! I'm so excited.

great week so far

2009-04-09T12:51:00.000-07:00

I had one blip in the week as far as eating goes = and that was Monday, so I feel like I can make it up before WI next Monday.

Since then I have been completely OP. No exercise, but I have been very busy with housework, painting and organizing so we can put this house on the market - so its better than my usual routine of sitting around on my behind - lol

My hand is so much better. The wound is completely healed - now just waiting for the scar to go away, but it is not very noticeable since it is just an extension of one of the lines on the palm of my hand. The ER Dr. said that if I go to have my palm read they may give me an incorrect reading - lol. Not really my thing anyways. The only thing with my hand is that sometimes when I try to use it I get a weird sensation inside it - almost like it was 'asleep'.

I am looking forward to a great long weekend.

-Tonight we will have a quiet dinner at home to remember the night that Christ suffered in he garden of Gethsemene, and we will read the account in the scriptures of Easter with the children

-We are planning on moving alot of our stuff to storage tomorrow so that the house will show better. Then we will probably take the kids to see 'Monsters VS Aliens'.

-The kids have their sports on Saturday morning and then they have a party to go to in the afternoon (yay, 3 hours that the hubby & I can have to ourselves).

-Sunday will be the easter hunt, followed by church and then maybe a nice afternoon of bike riding (if the weather permits - which I think it will) Did I mention I got a new bike!!! I am so excited.

HAPPY EASTER EVERYONE!

WI day and new mini goal

2009-04-06T08:34:00.000-07:00

So today is WI day and I came SO close to getting out of the 150's forever. I am now EXACTLY 150.0!! Lost only 0.2 but I'm okay with that. I feel re-energized and refocused.

I decided that I needed a new mini goal since I feel that those have helped me in the past. My daughter has a cheerleading banquet on May 13th, and I want to get a new dress for that, so I figured that would make a perfect mini goal. There are 5 wi's between now and then so I have chosen 7 lbs for my goal. I thought about doing 10, but it has been a LONG time since I averaged 2 lbs per week, so I figure that 7 is doable, but still challenging enough that I will have to work for it.

The house is really coming along. We have been painting, organizing and cleaning like mad. We hope to put it on the market next week.

Had a great day yesterday - took the kids for a 5k walk along the lake (fast walk since the kids were on their bikes). It was a great beautiful sunny day. Of course today is miserable and snowing - MAN, gotta love this Ontario weather.

Have a great week blogging buddies!

WI day

2009-03-30T10:39:00.000-07:00

Well, first off, I would like to thank everyone for their encouraging comments last week. It was a tough week mentally, and all your comments really helped ;)

My hubby also helped in a weird sort of way. He asked me at one point towards the end of my binging last week if I was done. I asked him 'done what?' and he said 'done with Weight Watchers?' and that's when everything really hit me - HE ACTUALLY THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO GIVE UP! That floored me. I have told him before that this is a lifestyle change - he knows that, he is changing his lifestyle too!! But I guess he just watched me fall back into old patterns and figure I was going back to how I used to be. I told him - NO, NEVER!!! I am never going back, I am never giving up, and I will reach my goals. I told him that I may stray sometimes, but I will always find my way back.

I think that was the final push I needed. I got right back on track, and drank LOTS of water to help flush all that crap out of my system. It worked really quickly, 2 days later I weighed what I did on the Monday before the binge. And now, at wi day today I was down 0.6, which means I HAVE REACHED 40 LBS GONE!!! I am officially 40.4 lbs lighter than when I started this journey. I am so happy, and ready to have a great week. NO EXCUSES!!!

My week so far - very long post, sorry.

2009-03-27T08:36:00.000-07:00

So, I just read Lisa's blog about her week so far, and mine is like the polar opposite of hers.

So far this week I have done ZERO exercise - ZERO!!

And as for eating.....

Swiss Chalet Chicken on a kaiser with Poutine

Big Mac & fries

Pad Thai

Pizza (4 pieces I think, but maybe 5)

Party Mix (probably half the bag)

Snickers bar

and these are just some of the things that I remember, needless so say I haven't been journaling.

The crazy thing is (more crazy I mean) other than the pizza, I really didn't enjoy any of it - but I didn't stop either. I kept thinking, this will be just what I was looking for, and then it wasn't. There is one simple reason for this.........THE ANSWER IS NOT FOOD!!!!

I didn't realize until just now how stressed I have been this week. We are trying to get our house in order to put it on the market (painting, cleaning, organizing and dealing with contractors), we are waiting to hear on my husbands raise at work, we have been house hunting and I find one that I LOVE, but my hubby isn't so sure (why can't he just love what I love - lol), and I am still dealing with this dumb hand.

Speaking of my hand, it is healing nicely (according to my Dr) but it is really sore. The bruising is both on the palm (where the wound is) and on the other side of my hand by the thumb knuckle. The Dr said it is due to the internal bleeding and that it will take time to go away - too bad because its really ugly. I find that the wound hurts a bit, but worse is how my whole hand aches after I have used it for a while, which I need to do with everything going on with the house right now.

I know that this is all excuses - and I don't want to make excuses. I want to continue on to my goals. I want to get healthy. I was watching Grey's last night and seeing all the one of the characters has to go through in regards to cancer treatment got me thinking. I know that being overweight is a factor for many cancers, and I don't want to ever have to go through that, or for my family to have to. I know I need to make better choices, to plan ahead and to take the time for exercise. I know these things, so why am I not doing it????

From weight this morning is 6 lbs higher than it was on Monday - SIX pounds!!!!

I need an intervention.

caught red-handed.

2009-03-24T12:39:00.000-07:00

So, last night I was not organized and we didn't end up eating dinner until Way late - what does this mean - it means that I made bad choices (of course I did, I was starving). Chicken on a kaiser (not bad) and POUTINE!!! Yes, the dreaded poutine makes another appearance in my journal (darn you poutine, you french-Canadian wonder!)

Then I did want to get back on track today - I really did. But the kids wanted McD's for lunch, and since I haven't had it in a long time I figured - hey, why not. As I was sitting here eating my Big Mac (yes, I went there) my doorbell rang. Who was is??? My conscience (disguised as my ww buddy). CRAZY!!! I felt so dumb - until she told me that she too ate poutine yesterday!

Well, onward and upward (downward?). I will do better for the rest of the week. My hand is healing, but it is really badly bruised now too - I hope that's OK. I did start to fall down the stairs yesterday (I'm a klutz) and when I did I grabbed the railing with BOTH hands to save myself (BIG MISTAKE) and my sore hand throbbed for a few hours after that. I hope that I didn't dislodge the stitch that is on the vein. If I did I think that I would notice something more than a large bruise.

On a MUCH happier note: I came third in the BLBE challenge for Team Lean last week - YAY! I was so happy to see my name.

Well, back to work now. We are considering moving and trying to get our house ready for showing, so lots of cleaning, painting and organizing to do. Funny how we let things go when we just live here - lol.

wi day

2009-03-23T07:59:00.001-07:00

Well, i didn't quite reach my goal of 40 lbs lost for this week - but I came so darned close, 39.8 lbs lost!

I lost 0.8 this week, which I'm ok with since i dropped the ball with my exercise - i will do better this coming week.

I'm actually happy that i didn't reach my goal for one reason - my leader was away! She is so great at celebrating with us, where as the fill-in is kind of bland.

This is taking me forever to type since i can only use one hand, so that's all i am going to say for now - good luck to all with the 30 minute per day exercise challenge!

ouch

2009-03-22T15:30:00.000-07:00

Today after we returned home from church I was getting lunch ready and tried to separate frozen burgers with a steak knife - NOT GOOD! I have never seen so much blood - the palm of my hand looked like a red fountain. I screamed for my hubby and off we went to the E.R.. My poor kids, my son (5) kept asking if I was ok, and my daughter (6) wouldn't talk or look at me. She told me later that her heart was 'beeping' the whole time.

2 hours and 4 stitches later (3 outside and 1 in to fix the vein I cut - ewwww!) I am home with a very sore hand.

Otherwise it's been a nice weekend. My son had his first official karate class on Saturday - he did great (no whining like he did at the trial class). He participated the whole time, and he actually looks like he may have a knack for it - who knows? We went through some open houses later in the day Saturday. We are thinking of moving to a bigger house - our starter home is outgrowing our little family.

As for the exercise - I basically dropped the ball since Wednesday - I don't know why but I reverted into my old lazy habits!!! NOT GOOD. This coming week will be better! So, I don't think that I will reach my goal at the scale tomorrow - I think I might get a STS.

How is everyone doing with the 30mins?

2009-03-19T07:43:00.000-07:00

So, this week I am once again trying to get at least 30 minutes of some sort of exercise/activity in. I know, sounds lame, but for someone like me who avoids exercise at all costs its a good start.

Lisa, Rebecca and Heather said they would also try for the same this week, and I am just curious how everyone is doing.

I did:

Monday - 30 minute walk

Tuesday - big fat goose-egg (i.e. NOTHING)

Wednesday - at least 1 hour walking

I don't know what my problem is with Tuesdays. I think that is the same day that I wimped out last week. I need to really pick it up for the rest of the week if I hope to reach my goals that I have set forth for the next wi which are:

40 lbs gone (1 lb to go)

out of the 150's (1.6 lbs to go)

Yesterday after swimming lessons, I took the kids into Toronto to go the the dentist and then off to the Royal Ontario Museum. We still go the the dentist in the city because he is the one I used to work for before I had kids - so I trust him and he gives me a discount! Plus I get to catch up with all my old co-workers.

My daughter has been wanting to go to a 'dinosaur museum' for a long time now. I checked it out and the prices are SO expensive, but the ROM listed that you can go for free on Wednesdays after 4:30. So that's what I planned, only to find out that it is not free this week since it is March break, its half price. So here is a breakdown of my costs for my 'free' day:

-$14.50 for parking (and thats with the museum discount)

-$26.00 admission

-$25.00 at the museum gift shop (kidlets NEED a souvenir - lol)

-$9.00 for a transit pass to and from the dentist

-$16.00 for dinner (they had McD's, I had Subway)

GRAND TOTAL - $90.50 and that's not including gas!!!

Man, its expensive to do anything fun with the kids - I hate that. And truly, they were bored with the museum quite quickly! I think we will stick to the zoo this summer - annual family pass is $140 and they have a water play area to cool off in.

oh what a beautiful morning

2009-03-17T07:22:00.000-07:00

oh what a beautiful day. (yes, its a happy singing kind of day)

The sun is shining, the birds are singing, and I think that spring is finally here to stay (man, I hope I didn't just jinx it). My kids are upstairs playing very nicely with each other and I just got news that one of my best friends just gave birth to her first baby - a girl!!

I was OP all day yesterday, and it felt great. We even ended the day with an evening walk with the kids. Definitely not a cardio workout - but exercise none the less.

I plan on staying OP again today, and I am VERY excited about the Biggest Loser tonight - I just love the show, and I am excited to see if anything new transpires between Jillian and the cousins tonight.

WI day

2009-03-16T09:29:00.000-07:00

It's Monday - that means WI day.

I'm grateful for a husband who decided to go into work late today so that I could go to my meeting without taking the kids (its march break here)!!!

I lost 2.4 lbs this week - YAY, I am so happy about that. I am 1 lb away from 40 lbs gone, and I am 1.6 lbs away from being in the 140's!!! I can't wait. I am going to try really hard this week to reach both of those goals for my next WI.

I want to thank Lisa for challenging me to get in at least 30 mins of exercise each day this past week - it really paid off. How did you do with it Lisa??? I want to continue this challenge for this week as well, you in? Anyone else in?

I love this program, and I love how great I feel. I love that we are getting healthy as a family, and I love that I have become a role model of healthy living to those around me.

A very nice weekend

2009-03-15T13:13:00.000-07:00

Saturday morning started with taking my boy to a trial karate class, he basically whined and complained the whole time but when it was over he asked me to sign him up. - WEIRD! We figured that we will give it a try because he needs to be involved in something right now (it can't all be about his sister) and we feel that Karate will help him with his balance (this kid falls A LOT!!!)

Then we dropped the kids off at my in-laws for a sleepover. The in-laws called a few days ago and said they had heard about a reptile place that they wanted to take the kids to and could they have them for a sleepover.

Then we left there about 2:30 and headed off to buffalo for the day. My hubby wanted to check the Coach outlet for a new belt and he also had a craving for the Olive Garden. Hubby didn't find a belt he liked in his size (he is getting so slim, I'm so proud of him) but I did find a new purse. Of course I did!!! We were at Coach. Actually, I found about 4 that I wanted so it was hard for me to settle on which one. I knew I wanted a black one, since I don't have one so this is the one I picked.

I love it, it looks so good on my shoulder. Its very similar to my brown one, but a bit bigger. It was a great price, so I couldn't resist.

We ended up walking around Niagara Falls in the evening, so I did get my 30 minutes of exercise in. YAY.

Today we went to church, came home and decided to go and see if there were any open houses in the area that we want to move to (there weren't) and then as we pulled back into our driveway my in-laws were pulling up behind us to drop the kids off. Tonight we have a viewing to go to - one of my best friends lost her Grandpa on Friday. Then after I get the kids to bed I will go on the Wii for my APs for today.

WI is tomorrow, so I'm hoping for a good loss.

doing great

2009-03-13T11:08:00.001-07:00

Except for my blip in the exercise on Tuesday, this week is going great so far.

Monday - 1 hour walk

Tuesday - zero

Wednesday - 2 x 45 minute walks (didn't do 3 due to severe wind blowing debris into our faces)

Thursday - 30 mins of Wii Fit

Friday - 2 x 30 minute walks

For me, this is great. Lisa's challenge to me has really helped me get moving. It's not a lot of exercise - but its more than I was getting so I am happy with it as a start.

embarrassed

2009-03-11T06:49:00.000-07:00

I am embarrassed to say that I did not get in my 30 mins of exercise yesterday. I meant to walk the kids to school but we all woke up too late. Then at lunchtime I drove to pick up my son because I was feeling lazy and drove again after school because I was out and about doing errands.

We had dinner guests, so I needed to get stuff for that in the afternoon. After our guests left I needed to rush out to a meeting at my church - and I was just too darned lazy to do anything by the time I got home at 9.

I went to bed really upset with myself. My husband was trying to cheer me up and reminding me of how far I have come - but I was not having any of it. It felt horrible that I didn't take that 30 mins out of my day to do something that I NEED to do.

So, today, even though the kids and I woke up late - we walked to school. I didn't not want today to start off like yesterday. I got them to quickly get dressed. Then I quickly made them some toast and put it in a paper towel and out the door we went. They ate their breakfast while we walked. It took longer than it has in the past because we had to change our route a bit to avoid the muddy/wet/snowy trail - so from the time I left the house until the time I returned it was 45 mins.

So, I will be doing that again at lunchtime to get my son and also after school to get my daughter so today is looking good.

BIGGEST LOSER last night - Like Kari, I was sad to see Mandi go, I liked her. I'm not so big on her sister so I would have been okay with her leaving, but what really bothered me was the way Ron declared that it was "Mandi's turn". He is the least beneficial to the team, so I don't think that he should be so cocky about it.

My faves are Sione and Filipe - although I didn't think that Filipe handled things well with Jillian. He was right to be upset that she hasn't been working with him - but I don't think that she cares now since he freaked out. It will be interesting to see what happens with the cousins for the remainder of the season.

I also like Kristen and she seems to get a lot of airtime so I wonder if she is one of the players that goes to the finals?

OK Lisa - I'll do it!!!

2009-03-10T10:30:00.000-07:00

Lisa has challenged me to at least 30 mins a day of exercise EVERYDAY from now till our next wi.

Not to hard to do since that is less than a week, but given my history it will be hard.

I WILL DO IT - You're on Lisa!!!

GRRRRRRR (<---that's me putting my game face on)

man, how things change

2009-03-10T05:52:00.001-07:00

So, remember last week when I was SO PROUD of myself for eating 1 piece of pizza!?!

Well, that was NOT the case last night. I totally pigged out and downed 4 pieces!!! So now, it is Tuesday (day 2 for my week) and I have already used 30/35 WP's. Why is this so bad? well, I do the 'simply filling' technique with WW so I don't count points everyday, I just eat foods from the filling foods list - SO my 35 WP's are the only thing I have to allow for things like bread, and treats.

So, here are my choices for the week:

1) Eat only filling foods for the next 6 days (with a little treat somewhere for 5 pts)

2) Earn some major AP's so that I can incorporate other foods a bit throughout my week as I usually do.

3) Be up at the scale on Monday.

Obviously I don't want #3 - and although I could probably do #1 I don't really want to so this might actually be the week that I do some ... dare I say it?.... EXERCISE!!!

Here's to a week of moving more!

Wi day - and grumpy me

2009-03-09T09:08:00.000-07:00

I am grumpy today, and the only reason I can think of is that I am VERY tired.

Yesterday my daughter competed in the Ontario Cheerleading championships, so we had to get up at 6 a.m. I went to bed the night before at midnight because I was fiddling with her hairpiece that she wanted to wear - trying to find a way that it would actually stay in. So, with the time change that meant 5 hours of sleep - then we were at competition from 8 a.m. until 2 p.m. 6 hours at a VERY loud cheer competition when you are tired - NOT GOOD!!

We went for lunch with the in-laws afterwards, and then by the time we drove back to our town I was able to settle in for about an hour before I had a meeting to go to at my church. The night didn't end until about 11:30 when I was finally able to get to bed - so that is probably why I am so BEAT today.

I went to weight watchers this morning and I am down 1.2 lbs. Its a good loss, but still not as much as I gained last week, so I was hoping for more. I checked back in my ww log, and I seem to have been battling the same few pounds since January 26th.

Jan. 26 - 155.2

Feb. 2 - 153.8

Feb. 9 - 154.6

Feb. 17 - 153.4

Mar. 2 - 155.2

Mar.9 - 154.0

SO I am sick of the yo-yoing, and time to get serious again. I KNOW KNOW KNOW that it is majorly due to the fact that I have not been exercising (man, I must sound like a broken record with this) so I have to get serious. I have decided that at the VERY least, I will be walking the kids to and from school this week. That means back and forth 3 times as I have drop off, get my son at lunch time and then get my daughter after school. That should be good for SOMETHING since it takes about 15-20 mins to walk to their school.

FYI, tired or not - cheer competition was totally worth it. My daughters team placed 4th in the province!!! GO KITTIES!!

This is her on the top of one of the stunts early in the routine:

This is her going up in the pyramid towards the end of the routine - she is looking down - NOT GOOD - lol

This is her helping to hold the trophy and showing that us all that they placed 4th!!

NEXT UP - NATIONALS in May!!! GO KITTIES!!

proud me moment!

2009-03-05T18:17:00.000-08:00

So yesterday I was feeling crappy, and when Hubby got home I hadn't yet started dinner. He asked if I would mind if we ordered pizza - I said 'lets do it'.

Background - I have a MAJOR problem with pizza. I LOVE it, and I can't seem to control myself with it, so I have (mostly) stayed away from it so far on this journey. The average pizza dinner for me includes at least 4 or 5 slices.

So, last night we ordered 2 mediums instead of the regular 2 larges. While he went out to pick it up I decided to make a salad to go with it. I made this very YUMMY apple & carrot salad recipe from my week 7 WW book. When the pizzas were home I found a nice slice for myself and filled the rest of my plate with salad.

THAT WAS IT FOR ME - ONE SLICE!!!!! I am so proud of myself. Even today, with all the leftovers in the house, I didn't touch them. I was tempted to. TOM started this morning and is VERY heavy and I have been really crampy all day, in fact I spent most of the day in bed. But when I did get up to make some lunch I was starving because I skipped breakfast (so I could sleep) and I was tempted to just grab some pizza since it would be quick. But, I managed to fight that urge and make myself a nice pt friendly lunch.

So, we as a family only ate 1 medium pizza last night, the rest became leftovers - this is a breakthrough for us. And we only ate that much because my hubby was feeling extra hungry.

Man, I love the changes that our whole household is making - we are all healthier than ever before.

BIggest Loser - (don't read if you haven't seen it yet)

2009-03-04T04:45:00.000-08:00

Well, other than the fact that I felt ripped off for not seeing the end result of the WI last night - it was a great show.

My husband and I love the part where you see how well the person has done since they have gone home and we didn't get to see that last night - booo.

What a sweetheart Mike is, giving away his reward like that. He's a good kid.

It's also nice to see how the players are connecting with their new trainers now. I really noticed that Mandy seems to be connecting with Bob - but who wouldn't!?! Bob is so great.

I really find this show motivating. I'm definitely going to check out the website to see if I can find the recipes from last nights show.

I can't wait until next week to find out the results of the WI and to see Filipe freak out on Jillian. My favorites so far this year are Sione and Filipe.

My prediction - Mike will not drop the required weight and the 2 players going home will be Aubrey and Laura.

nothing new

2009-03-03T09:17:00.000-08:00

I don't really have anything to post yet, but I am trying very hard to stay OP this week, so I thought that posting here would help to keep me accountable.

Eating yesterday and so far today have been good. I have my stew going in the crock pot for dinner so that should be good to help me round out the day.

I haven't done any exercise yet this week, so I really do need to start that. I hope to earn at least 2 APs today.

I heard on the radio today that it is expected to go up to 10 degrees on Friday (that's 50 for my American friends) and its supposed to stay nice through the weekend, so that'll be good for getting in some outdoor APs.

Oh yeah, and CONGRATS to Gracie and her hubby on their pregnancy!!!

I am trying very hard to plan ahead this week with my food, because my history shows that when I don't plan, I fail.

up 1.8 from Cuba

2009-03-02T07:51:00.000-08:00

and I am definitely okay with that. I ate very poorly, so I definitely expected more.

One interesting thing is that the person who weighed me in wrote that I gained 2.2, but it wasn't until I got home and looked at my book that I noticed she did the math wrong - so that is an added bonus.

I feel like I am ready to get right back on program - I so want to reach my goals. One thing that Cuba proved to me was that although I have come a long way, I am not where I want to be for bathing suit season. I liked my suit a lot, and but still did not feel truly comfortable being in public in a bathing suit. My arms DEFINITELY need work and so do other spots, so its time to get SERIOUS about exercise.

I HATE exercise, so this is going to be tough. I'm dusting off the 30 day shred and starting fresh.

Cuba

2009-02-28T06:06:00.000-08:00

Well, Cuba was good. Not great by any means, but good.

Food in Cuba was not great - but I expected that. The problem is, that many meals the only thing edible was burgers and fries - so I ate that WAY too often. Not to mention that I indulged in the ice cream too often. I seem to be up between 3-4 lbs, but I hope to take some of that off before WI on Monday.

Anyways, here are a few pics to show some of the happier moments.

well, didn't reach my Cuba goal...

2009-02-17T13:15:00.000-08:00

... but I did lose this week, and more than I gained last week - which is good.

I am down 1.4. I was very happy with that, because I have still not gotten completely back on track. I am definitely at that point of the journey that I have been at so many times before. The part where I have always given up. I am determined that this time will be different - that I will persevere and reach my goal. I am so grateful for a husband who is not willing to give up on his weight loss goal, and therefore helps me to stay focused on mine. One of the many times that I wanted to eat poorly last week I was really fighting off a huge temptation. I called him and oddly enough he had just fought off the exact same food temptation. I asked him how he got himself past it and he said "I was just thinking about how good we are going to look this summer." Man, that was JUST what I needed to hear.

So, even though I have made very poor food choices today (VERY VERY POOR - Whopper Jr., poutine and Reese's peanut butter cups) I know that I will be back on track tomorrow.

It's off to the hotel in Toronto tomorrow at lunchtime, and then we head to the airport at 4 a.m. Thursday. The good thing for me with Cuba is that we go with my in-laws and they always want to go the same resort (they go twice a year) because they know the staff there and so we get really pampered. Last year when we went with them they upgraded us both up to suites for free, and they always held tables for us at all the meals (which is good since the restaurants fill up and its hard to have to wait to eat when you have little ones with you). This resort however (like many in Cuba) has mediocre food. That, I think, will really help me to not over do it while I am away. I think if I were going on a cruise or something like that I would come back with a big gain, but not Cuba.

Anyways, I'm off to have fun in the sun! Have a good week everyone!

disappointing spa trip

2009-02-13T09:20:00.000-08:00

My MIL bought me a gift certificate for a local spa. I have been so excited all week to go.

Today was the day, I was booked for a full leg and bikini wax (for our trip to cuba) and a mani/pedi. I was told I would be done by 11:30 - so I asked my hubby to stay home with the kids until then (p.a. day) and he agreed and held off all meetings today till lunch time or later.

First was the waxing (ouch), which she really seemed to rush through. I notice a few spots where she missed, so she wasn't exactly diligent about it. Then when she was done she told me that I would need to use some oil in the shower when I got home to get off the excess wax (WHAT!?! This has never happened to me before) I checked out my legs when I got home, and there is a lot of wax left on - NOT GOOD.

Then the mani/pedi - definitely not the best one I have ever had. The polish is a bit sloppy and I just didn't get as much of the massaging of hand and feet as I am used to. During the mani the owner of the spa came in and asked me for my car keys - apparently I was blocking someone in (which I was VERY careful not to do). I told him that I made sure I wasn't blocking anyone - and he gave me a strange look and said "don't worry about it, we move cars around here all the time". So, reluctantly I gave him my keys.

When my appt was over at noon (1/2 hour later than I was told) I went to the front desk to settle up. They did my gift certificate wrong - so somehow I no longer have any $ left on it (which I think I should) and then I find out that the owner left with my keys in his pocket!!!

HELLO!!!!

I explained that my husband needs to get to work and I am already 30 mins behind what I was told I would be, so I REALLY need to get out of there. They said that he was coming back now with my keys.

10 mins later I see him sitting out front in his car chatting on his cell phone. I go out and stand right beside his car. He slowly gets out and 'finishes' up his call then tosses me my keys and says 'sorry about that' in a voice that was in no way sorry.

ARGGHHHHH - when a girl goes to the spa she wants to be pampered NOT AGGRAVATED!!!

I don't get out to a spa very often, so when I do I want it to be nice - am I asking too much!?!

the shred

2009-02-10T11:11:00.000-08:00

so today is my second day of (trying) to do Jillian Michael's 30 day shred. I am SO not good at exercise.

I got through it OK yesterday. I did level 1 and I did the easier modifications she mentioned. I did have to pause a few times, but not for more than 5 seconds (as she instructed). When it was over I was so proud of myself, and I felt pumped - like YEAH I can do this!!

Today - not so much. I am sore from yesterday, so prior to trying it today I decided to soak in a tub with Epsom salts to loosen my muscles. I barely made it through the video. I made it about 1/3 before I gave up. I hate giving up, but I usually do with exercise.

I will definitely try it again tomorrow - I do want to shred my body.

well, the streak is over

2009-02-09T14:15:00.000-08:00

but I am okay with it.

I knew it would be, after all the fun (read: eating) I did this past week.

I have to say though - after being up only 0.8 at the scales I realised that I TRULY LOVE my body. I love how hard it works for me. That after all that food I didn't have the huge gain I expected. I truly thought that I would be up 2 lbs or so. So this leads me to believe that my body is working harder than I thought to get healthy - and also that my brain is in the right gear. I feel that I am thinking about my food choices more than I realise.

So thank you body of mine!! lol

I am adding a cool picture that the MC of the cheer competition we were at all weekend took. He took this picture during the awards ceremony. The athletes are all sitting on the mat, and the parents and other spectators are all in the stands. Truly amazing how many people are there - and this is only from the Sunday morning portion of the competition - there were more people competing all day Saturday and then Sunday afternoon as well. CRAZY!!

why I will be WAY up at wi tomorrow

2009-02-08T16:30:00.000-08:00

So, This week we celebrated my hubby's birthday TWICE! The first time was with his parents and this (see pic) cake which is my absolute favorite!

The second celebration was on Friday (his actual birthday) when we went out for dinner at the Lone Star and I had WAY too many fajitas. Their tortillas are the best, and this is apparently because of all the lard they use (yes, LARD!!)

Then it was off to Kingston for a Cheerleading competition for my daughter. We spent the weekend there, so all the meals were out meals - and boy did I indulge! Including FUNNEL CAKE at East Side Marios!!!

Here is a pic of her and I leaving the hotel at 8am to get to the arena on time.

Then when we got home tonight - I SO did not want to cook - I wanted to be BAD!!! And bad I was, SUPER BAD!!! (mcdonalds)

SO, I totally expect to be WAY up at wi tomorrow (bye bye streak). The only good thing I did for my health this weekend was that I picked up Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred at the Chapters in Kingston - so tomorrow is the day to start shredding this bod.

While I was bad - Kingston was totally worth it - Here is a pic of my daughter with her teams trophy - yes, she's a nut!!!

my pooch

2009-02-03T18:20:00.000-08:00

I've noticed a lot of mention of dogs on blogs lately, so I thought I would tell you all about mine.

Our dog is Utah, he is a 1.5 year old F1B Golden Doodle. He is a HUGE 65lbs (at last check) and he stands as tall as me on his hind legs (I'm just shy of 5 feet). The best part is - he DOESN'T SHED!!!

He is so cute, and great with the kids - even though he is still in the puppy stage, and sometimes due to his size he inadvertently plays too rough.

I have included some pics here. The first is just after we brought him home from the breeders.

The second is him giving my son kisses (Utah was about 10 months in this pic)

and the third is a head shot of him from the same day.

wi day and 2nd place

2009-02-02T07:55:00.000-08:00

My streak continues - down 1.4!

I am so loving this new lifestyle of healthy eating & living.

Yesterday was a beautiful sunny day here in Ontario so we took the kids and the dog out for a nice afternoon nature hike. Towards the end of the trail we had a huge snowball fight - it was lots of fun.

Hey, did you notice that I placed 2nd last week for Team Lean in the BLBE challenge YAY ME!!! That was pretty cool to see. We are going to kick some Team Angie butt this week!!! lol

Well, I am planning on another week of tracking what I eat. I also plan on getting more APs this week, since I only earned 6 last week.

17 days till Cuba!

The hunt is over

2009-01-28T10:10:00.000-08:00

So, we leave for Cuba in 22 days, and I have been searching for a new swimsuit.

It is very difficult to find a one-piece suit with a skirt bottom that fits nicely. I feel like I have been to every store on the planet. I envy Krista for wearing bikinis - they are so much easier to find!! My body is not bikini ready, nor will it ever be as I am COVERED in stretch marks on my stomach due to being overweight for so long and having 2 babies back to back.

But, yesterday I went with my family to an outlet mall and found exactly what I have been looking for at Winners. Weird thing is, I have been to 3 different Winners at least 6 times in the past few weeks and have not been able to find anything - but the one that we went to yesterday had 1 perfect one in my size. Only $19.99 too!!! Added bonus!

I found a video of myself that I took last March when I thought I was going to follow the Dr. Phil weight loss program. I was 180 lbs at the time and I look so different than I do right now. Its crazy that it took gaining another 10lbs to get my butt into Weight Watchers.

It's also crazy to know how much I yo-yo'd last year. I started the year at 195, I was 180 in March and back up to 190 by September. I am so glad to finally be at a place in my life where I feel like I am truly making life changes.

What a FANTASTIC day!

2009-01-26T11:40:00.001-08:00

It was an early morning for me today, I had to get up at 4:30 a.m. to get my daughter to her cheer gym. Breakfast Television Toronto came out to tape a few segments of the kids cheering. My daughter managed to get her face in a few shots. In this clip that I am attaching a link to host Jennifer Valentyne goes over to talk to the 'little kids' as she does you can see a little one with 2 pig-tails walking towards her down the left side of the screen - that's my daughter. Then as Jennifer finishes up with the little ones she (the host) asks them if they are all having fun and as the camera pulls out you see my daughter look at the camera and say 'yup'.

Here's the link to the Breakfast Television clip.

Here is a picture of my daughter and Jennifer Valentyne.

Next, drop Megan off at school and pick up my friend Patty because it's MONDAY and that means its our Weight Watchers weigh in day!!!

I was very excited all weekend because I knew I would be down. Then this morning my TOM started - ARGH. I was worried because I am usually up a bit days 1 & 2. Well, no worries necessary.

drum roll please......................

down 2.8!!!

WOO HOOOO

So now I am 20 straight wi's with losses. 20-0, pretty cool!

35.4 lbs gone - and feeling GREAT!!!

What a day! I am so happy!!!

A very nice weekend

2009-01-25T14:01:00.000-08:00

It's Sunday afternoon and I have had a very nice weekend. Started off yesterday with my daughter at Cheer practice. Then we went off to Subway for lunch (I love my Saturday sub). We went to the mall for a bit and then went home for some quiet time.

At 4 pm we were off to our best friends youngest son's baptism. He looked so grown up in his suit, I remember back when we met them he was only 4 months old - where did the time go? I was a good girl at the baptism. Had some soup, chili, salad and fruit for dessert - completely steered clear of the baked goods. Wore my new blue dress and got lots of compliments.

Today was church and then my in-laws came up and took us for lunch. We don't normally go out to eat on Sundays, but my in-laws don't share our faith so sometimes we make allowances where they are concerned. I had one of the best salads I have ever had, but when I got home and checked out the NI online I figured out why it was so good - IT WAS LOADED WITH FAT! Casey's Asian Chicken salad - the killer was the honey lime dressing. I should have asked for it on the side. It sounded healthier than the salsa ranch dressing that was on the salad that I normally get - but after checking it out the salsa ranch would have been a MUCH better bet. About half the cals and fat. OH WELL, live & learn. I've made that mistake before.

I will always check NI on computer before going out to eat.

I will....... well, you get it. lol

BIG NEWS - My daughter is going to be on Breakfast Television (Toronto) tomorrow morning (6-9 a.m.). Jennifer Valentine (a show host) will be taping live from her cheer gym to teach people about competitive cheerleading. My daughter is SUPER excited - me too. We have to be at the gym at 5:30 a.m. in full uniform - that part doesn't excite me. To say that I am not a morning person is quite the understatement.

After the segment shoots I will go directly to my weigh in, which I think will be a good one (fingers crossed).

GO TEAM LYNN (or team lean, or whatever we decided to name it)

Spoiled girl!

2009-01-22T10:32:00.001-08:00

I am a very spoiled girl. I know it, and I love it - is that wrong? lol

Last night my husband came home from work with some bags - my favorite kind of shopping bags, Coach ones!!! He works very close to the Yorkdale mall, so he sometimes stops in there. He went in and decided to see what Coach had as far as sales. One of the things in the shopping bags is a big pink box - he said that it is for Valentines day. I am so excited. There was also another box, a medium brown box. I asked him what that one was for and he said he just couldn't turn it down because it was a great price, so he bought it and will put it away for a future occasion. I told him that 'Wednesdays' are a great occasion, and that a girl can never have enough purses. After some convincing (but I'll admit, not as much as I would have thought) he let me have it. Its a great handbag, brown leather, from the Legacy line. I love it. He's a sweetheart. I told him that he better be careful spoiling me like this - I might start to think he has a girlfriend lol.

He won't be home for dinner tonight. He has to go to a charity function in Toronto with his father, so he decided to stay home this morning and have lunch with me and our son. We went to the mall for lunch and also to find some new pants for my husband. We didn't find him any pants, but I did manage to find 2 dresses at Old Navy on the clearance rack for only $16. They are both the same, but one is blue & white while the other is a lime green & white. I have a bunch of stuff coming up (baptism, baby showers, etc...) so I'll have lots of chances to wear them. I was VERY happy to be able to get a size medium - and I think that the fabric and style are very suited to my body (i.e. it hides the problem areas well).

Still OP. I managed to get in 2 APs yesterday, so I am at a grand total of 6 so far this week - yay me. I am looking forward to pizza tonight. Krista got me thinking about it, and so I will be making it on the whole grain PC crust as well. I think that I will put ham and pineapple on it, I've been on a bit of a pineapple kick lately.

So much to say.

2009-01-21T10:36:00.000-08:00

I'm feeling great (except for the sore muscles). I have been OP so far this week, and even managed to earn 3 APs on Monday and 1 on Tuesday (that's a lot for me). I plan on earning some today too - hopefully 3 again. That online program of Jillian Michaels that I mentioned is way more difficult than I expected. Hopefully soon I will be able to get through it all.

I ordered some stuff from www.lowcarbgrocery.com I have been noticing things on other peoples blogs and whatnot, so I decided to give a few of them a try. I ordered:

PB2 Peanut Butter

PB2 Chocolate Peanut Butter

Walden Farms calorie free caramel dip

Walden Farms calorie free apple butter.

I ordered everything yesterday and received my shipment today - not too bad!!

I've tasted the chocolate peanut butter, the apple butter and the caramel dip so far.

The chocolate peanut butter is very good, and so is the apple butter.

The caramel dip tasted a bit weird, but I'm thinking that that is because I just dipped my finger in to taste it - next time I will try it on an apple or something like that.

Something else that I am excited about is a new program that Dempsters is running where you can get a free Hamilton Beach sandwich grill!! You just have to save the UPC codes from 10 of their participating products and then mail it away with a $15 money order (for shipping) and voila! I bought a bunch of their bodywise products today. They are all quite low 'points' wise, which is good. I can't wait to get my grill.

Biggest Loser last night was a HUGE disappointment. I really don't understand why Jillian's team asked the others who they wanted them to vote off, and stated that they would respect their decision - and then they just went the opposite way! I guess the game play has already started. I really think that Joelle has some serious mental issues that she needs to deal with

- POOR BOB!!

I also don't understand why Dan was absent for the temptation challenge. They didn't give us any explanation - they didn't even mention it. I was watching and thought "hey, wheres Dan?"

weird!

Okay, off to earn some AP's so that I can FINALLY make Team Lynn (do we have an official name yet?) proud.

WI day

2009-01-19T10:20:00.000-08:00

It's Monday, WI day, and that darn scale hasn't budged all week.

I had a great week as far as eating. Stayed OP and made good choices all week long.

Got to my meeting to find that I am down 0.6 lbs. Well, at least my streak continues, but after last weeks 0.2 and now this I am not very happy.

I KNOW what the issue is - EXERCISE!!!! I just need to do it. I have been so lazy, and so lucky that I have managed to lose for 19 weeks in a row with really doing much in the way of activity, but these past two weeks have shown me that I REALLY need to change things up or my body is not really going to budge much from this stage.

So, after I finish entering this blog I am going to do day one of the Jillian Michaels Great One Month Slim-down. I found this site via a posting on the WW message boards, and it looks interesting.

My dear friend and WW buddy Patty achieved her 'lifetime' today at our meeting. I was so proud of her. She got to get up and tell everyone about her journey. She is a true inspiration to me.

The best part of my day so far was just before the meeting started. A woman who has been at the meetings maybe 3 or 4 times before got up from her seat and came over and asked me if she could sit beside me. She said that I have been so inspiring to her and she just really wanted to sit with me. That made me feel really great!

So off to exercise and have another OP eating week - hoping for a much better # at the scales next week, so that I can get closer to my CUBA goal, and be a bigger help to Team Lynn!!!

my smoothie & my boy

2009-01-17T05:54:00.000-08:00

That smoothie I made yesterday did not have the staying power that I hoped it would. I don't know if it was because I was home all day, or what, but I seemed to get hungry again too soon. I was speaking to my friend about it last night, and she suggested putting 1/2 cup of oats into it. Her personal trainer told her that that would make it more filling. Since oatmeal is a WW 'filling food' I didn't mind trying it.

So this morning I made one. The texture was different than yesterdays, but it still tasted great. I had it at about 8 a.m. and it is now 9 a.m. and so far I am still really satisfied. I would like to see this feeling last until about 10 a.m. when I would normally have a snack anyways - so we'll see.

My boy (5) has been fevered since 11 p.m. Thursday night, when he registered 103 degrees f. I kept him home from kindergarten yesterday so he could rest. He was supposed to go to a birthday party with his sister last night but when it was time to go he was still 101 degrees f so I decided he couldn't go. He stayed home and snuggled up to Daddy while watching Kung Fu Panda (his new favorite movie).

Last night he came into our room at 3 a.m. and told me that his tummy hurt. Within about 30 seconds he was in the bathroom throwing up - poor guy! I 'slept' with him in his bed so that I could help him whenever he needed it. He is such a snugly little guy, so even though I didn't get much sleep I enjoyed cuddling him. For his sake I hope today's a better day.

I'm kind of bummed that even though I feel that I have been good with my eating this week my weight has not budged all week. I feel like I am PMSing, got the regular symptoms, so maybe that has something to do with it. Just so long as I don't get my TOM on WI day - that would really put me UP!!!

GO TEAM LYNN!!!

Protein in the morning

2009-01-16T06:59:00.000-08:00

One of the things that I have always had trouble with is getting protein in the morning. Every weight loss expert I have ever spoken with has told me the importance of this, but I still found it hard. It almost turns my stomach.

Sure, the odd time I would make an omelette or have some ham, but most days I just could not bring myself to do it.

I've been thinking a lot lately about whey protein. I know that many healthy people include this in their diets, and so I was thinking about buying some. Then I saw the price. It's about 30 for a (very large) container of it, but still, its $30.

I decided today that I would bite the bullet and buy it when I went shopping. And that I would also buy some yogurt and frozen fruits to make morning smoothies with it.

Forward to the yogurt aisle, and look what I found. Astro Zero Fat Free Weight Maintenance Support Vanilla yogurt. It has no fat, no sugar added, no aspartame, 8 vitamins and minerals and the 3rd ingredient (after skim milk and milk protein concentrate) is WHEY PROTEIN CONCENTRATE!!! This yogurt just saved me $30!

per 1/2 cup it has:

50 cals

0 fat

0 fibre

5g protein!!!!

So I am currently enjoying my morning smoothie made with 1/2 cup skim milk, 1/2 cup frozen fruits & 1/2 cup Astro Zero - SUPER YUMMY!!!

Mid week & OP - & the Biggest Loser

2009-01-14T11:07:00.000-08:00

So, its Wednesday, and I am feeling great. I have stayed OP so far this week, but I have yet to earn any APs (why do I struggle with this so?). I've been feeling very lazy, but I know that I just need to get up off my butt and do some exercise.

The Biggest Loser last night was great - and as with other bloggers it made me very emotional. I kept crying. I really hope that Dan gets the chance to stick around for a while, the ranch really seems to be the place for him right now. As for Joelle, well, I have differing views on her than other bloggers. I find her manipulative and I think that she is just wasting every ones time. I was surprised to see that Tara only lost a pound - good thing she had immunity. I think that she has the determination to be a very strong competitor this season. Overall, I am loving this season so far. I watched Bob & Jillian and others on Larry King live, and I loved that they said that this will be the longest season so far. They are taping for more than 5 months this time around.

I think that one of the reasons that this show made me so emotional last night is that this whole journey for me is quite emotional. That's one of the differences from anytime that I have tried to lose weight in the past - EMOTION. I feel that it is because I truly know that I am going to achieve my goals this time around. My husband and I talk about it a lot and we truly feel that we have started to make these life changes. Last night my husband said our prayer for us at bedtime, and he prayed that we would be able to continue strong on this healthy journey of ours, and that in doing so we could be examples to his parents.

Both of his parents are morbidly obese. His dad is only 54 and he has had congestive heart failure, a stroke and now he has been diagnosed with diabetes. He takes in excess of 40 pills a day, and still he can't seem to find the motivation to change his eating habits. My husbands mom is 56 and can barely walk anymore due to all the excess weight and now she has severe arthritis in her knees. This is a woman who LOVES playing with her grandkids (really she is just a big kid herself) and she is now at the point where she can't sit on the floor with them because it is too difficult to get back up. She wants to go to Disney World with us, but I know that she would not be able to walk around. Both my MIL and FIL feed off each other, they use the other to promote their bad habits and they are both food pushers for the other. With my MIL its a matter of quality of life, but with my FIL its a matter of life or death. I really hope that they can find the motivation they need to join us on this journey.

Another long post - sorry.

WI #18 and the dangers of sledding.

2009-01-12T07:58:00.000-08:00

My husband decided to take the kids out sledding yesterday afternoon. They all had fun until my son fell off his sled and hit the back of his head on some ice. We took him to urgent care and they decided that he needed stitches or the medical glue stuff - they let him decide (duh, he's 5, of course he doesn't want stitches). I personally think that stitches are better. I used to work in a dental office and sometimes the glue that we used for surgeries would dislodge. The Dr. assured us that he would be fine with the glue, so what's a mom supposed to do. I didn't want to be the meany who says "no, please stick my child repeatedly with a needle" so now he has a chunk of glue in the top/back of his head.

Now on to me - today was WI #18 and I fully anticipated a gain. I was sad to see my streak end, but I figured this was the week to do it. Well, I managed to 'SQUEAK' by and get a loss of 0.2 lbs. That's the least possible that you can lose at a WW meeting because their scales work in intervals of .2

So, even though it was still a 'loss', it was DEFINITELY the kick in the butt that I needed to get myself back on track. It puts me at a 2 lb loss so far in the BLBE challenge, which is not enough.

I don't want to let my team mates down - GO TEAM LYNN!!! - so I will do MUCH better this week.

BMI

2009-01-10T05:11:00.001-08:00

Lisa was curious to know what my BMI was, and this got me thinking. As I track my weight loss, I should also track my BMI as this is a great factor in determining my overall health and after all, I really do want to be (super sexy hot) healthy. lol

So, my current BMI is 32, down from the 39 that it was when I started this journey. I'm a shorty!! But being short is what helps me to go down in sizes so quickly.

What a great day!!! NSV's

2009-01-09T14:05:00.001-08:00

Today I decided to try something.

Some of you may remember that I bought 2 pairs of jeans when they were on sale at Old Navy and put them away to be worn later. I figured if I purchased them, then I was committed to wearing them one day.

Well, they were sizes 10 & 8. When I bought them I could barely pull the 1o's up my legs, and doing them up would have been impossible since the 2 sides of the zipper several inches from each other.

Today I thought that I would take them to get hemmed so that when I am ready for them I can wear them. Well, guess what??? I AM wearing them right now. They are definitely snug - but that helps to keep me on track. I repeat - I AM WEARING A SIZE 10 JEAN!!!!

So, I decided that I needed a new shirt to wear with my new jeans, and I went to Old Navy (where else? lol). They have those great clearance racks at the back. There was a time when I was lucky to find something XXL at old Navy that would fit me. Today, feeling as good as I was in my new jeans, I decided to see if a large shirt would fit me. I took it into the change room and guess what??? It was too big! I stood there in silence for a bit, just in complete awe of what I have done. I stepped out and asked the sales girl if she minded if I just ran back to the racks to get another size. On my way there I started to tear up - this is totally emotional for me. I went back into the change room with my MEDIUM top and tried it on - it fits nicely. So nicely in fact that I went back and picked out a few other MEDIUM tops to buy as well. I repeat - MEDIUM tops.

I know that I have been saying since the beginning that I WILL reach my goals this time - but now that I am actually doing it, I am totally amazed!!! I CAN DO THIS!!! I CAN!!! I AM!!!

So the pics are of me in my new SIZE 10 jeans and my MEDIUM top! Sorry they are so dark, I took them with my webcam.

Support is such a great thing!

2009-01-08T09:16:00.000-08:00

Support is the key for me. In all the attempts in my life to lose weight I never realized that, but this time I do. Support (for me) is essential to my success.

This is hard for me to type, because I have always seen myself as this strong, independent woman who can do it all on her own. Factors in my childhood forced me to care for myself and my younger sibling from about the age of 9 - and I guess since then I have always felt like I have to do it all alone. Which is weird, because I am married, and in most things I realize that we work together as a team to make this life great - but sometimes I just can't get past the feelings of that little girl who had to take it on alone.

Asking for help has always been hard for me.

As many of you know, my husband has been a great support to me through this weight loss journey this time around because he has chosen to get healthy himself - so we are doing this together (although he isn't actually doing WW). But that came on its own, I didn't ask him for help with that. He just woke up one day after I had started to lose weight and he made that decision for himself, which is good. I know that my example prompted him to change, but I didn't ask him to.

I have a friend that comes to WW with me. I didn't ask her to join, or to help me, she asked me if she could tag along. I love that she does - it definitely helps, but I didn't ask for that help.

One of the Weight Watchers Helpful Habits is to ASK FOR HELP. Their research has proven that having the help of those around you helps you to sustain weight-loss efforts. I now KNOW this to be true.

I now realize that I did ask for help. When I made the conscious effort to put this blog out there for all of cyber-space to read, that I was asking for help. I was looking for help and encouragement from others who are currently or who have battled with their weight. I DID IT - I ASKED FOR HELP!!! ME!!!

And that's what I got. All my times of success have been cheered on - and more importantly, this week, when I was feeling LOW and like I was struggling, in came the HELP that I needed by way of blog comments. You guys ROCK!!! You have helped me put things in perspective and realize that I am NOT going to give up. My team members have been great - GO TEAM LYNN!! But also others who are not doing the Biggest Loser Blog Edition - and even those on Team Angie (you're going down - lol) have supported me.

I probably shouldn't single anyone out - but I'm going to. Lisa has been supporting my blog almost since I began it - and her words really encourage me. She is also an inspiration as she has just lost 1/4 of the weight she wants to lose. So, thanks Lisa, you help to make this journey easier for me.

And THANKS to all of you who have commented, or even just read this blog - we can all reach our goals if we continue to reach out to each other.

Go TEAM Lynn!!

BTW, I am totally back OP!!!

fell right back off the wagon!

2009-01-07T12:00:00.000-08:00

So, Monday I ate like crazy and was not happy with myself. Tuesday I stayed OP felt good and then stepped on the scale and was HORRIFIED (mind you it was my nighttime weight, but still).

I woke up this morning and was up a few pounds since Mondays wi, that fact should have kicked me right in the butt and gotten me to stay focused - but did it????? NO, Of course not, that would make too much sense!!

I have eaten SO horribly today, and SO MUCH FOOD!!!! I just can't seem to stop. Right now I literally feel nauseous. This is bad - WHERE DID MY MOTIVATION GO!?!

Go Team Lynn!!! BLBE

2009-01-06T19:18:00.000-08:00

So I am officially a member of Team Lynn for the Biggest Loser Blog Edition Season 2 Challenge. We are so going to ROCK this competition!

I had a good day today, stayed OP. I was not so good yesterday. I usually 'splurge' a little on Mondays, thinking that I have the whole week to make up for it - but yesterday I went COMPLETELY OVERBOARD - I just couldn't stop eating.

Today was much better, and I did 35 mins on my Wii Fit (Boxing, step aerobics and Super Hula Hoop).

Tonight I had an activity with my church. I help out in the youth program, so we have activities every Tuesday night. Tonight was tobogganing - it was TONS of fun, but man, I had a few bad wipe outs! What the heck is a 35 year old Mom doing sledding? !?! I'm definitely going to feel that tomorrow.

Starting off '09 in the right direction!

2009-01-05T07:59:00.000-08:00

WI this morning was great - down 1.8 !! That means I have stayed on my losing streak and have now done 17 straight WI's with losses. It also means that I have said 'goodbye' to the 160's and 'hello' to the 150's. It will hopefully be a short little visit though, because I would like to see the 140's soon - lol.

I am so excited for this year - I know that it is going to be great for so many reasons. Hubby & I will both get healthy, and stay that way with some hard work. And I think that this will be a good year for us to make better choices financially speaking.

I hope that everyone else is having as great a day as I am.

Feeling great.

2009-01-03T16:16:00.000-08:00

I am so positive lately. I have been feeling great, I have been receiving tons of encouraging and supportive comments on my weight loss, and I am just loving life.

That's not to say that I don't have any problems, or course I do - don't we all !?! There is never enough money, but I know that life usually feels that way, so I am not going to let it bring me down. My kids have been extra crazy hyper lately, but that's the Christmas break for you, they are back to their regular routine in 2 days so that will improve things (I hope).

But overall - life is great.

I have a great husband who loves me, who I can truly be myself around, who makes me laugh and who provides enough for us to allow me to be a stay at home mom.

I have 2 healthy, smart, happy children who bring more joy to me (yes, even when they are driving me nuts) then I could have ever imagined.

I have ME! Yes, I am grateful for ME!!! I am a strong, happy woman who is growing more and more confident in herself each day. I am learning to make time for myself to concentrate on getting this body healthy, and also just time for ME!! I have had more soaks in the tub in the past month then I have in several years combined. Just me, and a magazine!!!

I am proud of how far I have come on this journey, and I am excited about what is still to come for me. I am curious to know what trials I will face with it. I haven't plateaued yet, and I know that it will come, so I am curious to see how I will react to it - and how I will overcome it! Because I KNOW I will overcome and reach my goals.

I am so happy for my blog friends who take them time to read & comment on my ramblings - its nice to know that you are out there and that you can relate to what I am feeling on some level.

If I can stay on track tonight and tomorrow, I think that I will be in for a nice WI on Monday!!!

keep your fingers crossed ;)

The Facebook Picture

2009-01-02T08:10:00.001-08:00

I thought I would post the picture that I posted on FB here too - its my 'now and then' pic.
Last New Years to this one!
Next years will be even better.

my NSV from my 5 year old boy.

2009-01-01T19:26:00.000-08:00

Today we went to a good friends home for a visit and they were all so amazed with how much the hubby and I have lost - it felt nice to hear it from them.

Afterwards we went out for dinner with my in-laws. I took my boy to the bathroom and afterwards I bent down to help him do up his pants, as I stood back up he looked up at me and said "Mommy, you are getting SO healthy"

We don't use the word 'diet' in our home. My sister had to be hospitalized in high school due to a severe eating disorder, so we are very aware of the kind of problems that can arise from this type of thinking. Our children know that Mommy and Daddy's bellies are not healthy and so they know that we are eating healthier foods and exercising so that we can get healthier. So to hear him tell me that I am getting healthier means that he sees me getting thinner - what a cutie!

Here is a little video that I took of him today - he wanted to write his own song.

WI day, New Years Goal ACHIEVED!!

2008-12-29T09:30:00.001-08:00

My photo booth thingy cut me off, but here's part one

and part two

my first attempt at a video blog

2008-12-26T15:19:00.000-08:00

so, I got a MacBook for Christmas, and it has this great photo booth feature that makes it SUPER easy to do quick webcam videos - so I thought I would try a video blog.

Hopefully this works.

WI & my nice romantic weekend.

2008-12-22T08:14:00.000-08:00

Today is WI day, down exactly 1 pound, and I got my reward for being a WW member for 16 weeks - the clapping hands. I think its called the 'stay and succeed' award - which is fitting, since I KNOW I will succeed.

I had a GREAT weekend. On Saturday at lunchtime my husband & I took the kids to my inlaws for a sleepover. We spend Saturday doing some christmas shopping, and then we went for dinner and a movie. We both made good choices at dinner, and I even brought my own popcorn to the movie. I FINALLY got to see Twilight. I love the books so much that I have been anxiously waiting a chance to see the movie version. It was good, not as good as the books, but way better than I thought it would be.

The kids called and woke us up Sunday morning begging us for another night to sleep at Grandmas and Grandpas (they've never gone for 2 nights before) so after much discussion we did agree. They were SO happy.

The rest of the day we relaxed, did a bit more shopping and had a nice dinner at home. We rented a christmas movie - but we were both so bored by it that we ended up turning it off. I did a bit of wrapping, still have tons to do.

My kids come home at dinner time tonight - I can't wait to see them! But, it is nice to be running around and doing errands today like grocery shopping without them - lol

I'm feeling good - feeling like I am on the right track and that I have the motivation I need to get me through this week.

I hope that all my 'blog' friends have a GREAT start to their week as well.

Struggling

2008-12-19T09:22:00.000-08:00

I am definitely struggling lately.

I have done NOTHING in the way of exercise this week - I will try to get some in today.

My eating hasn't been HORRIBLE, but it hasn't been great either. I went through the drive thru at Burger King two days ago - got a whopper Jr. and POUTINE!!! Don't really know why I did it, but I must admit, it tasted great! I was hoping it wouldn't.

Since then I have wanted to have McD's and other bad stuff, but have managed to steer myself away from those choices. I guess that's something good.

I don't know what got my motivated in September, but I hope that whatever it was comes back.

I do not want to slide back into old habits.
I want to finally realize that I am worth it.
I want to be happy in my own skin.
I want to be healthy and strong.
I want to be a role model for my kids.
I want to stay on track to help encourage my husband to do the same (he is doing so well)
I WANT to achieve my goals.
I want to become a lifetime member of Weight Watchers.

My FAVORITE song!!

2008-12-18T07:53:00.000-08:00

Jason Mraz - I'm yours.
I just can't seem to get enough of this song!
sorry, had to share ;)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EkHTsc9PU2A

WI day from up above.

2008-12-15T09:11:00.000-08:00

Today was WI day, and I am surprised to say that I lost 1 pound.

Last Monday we went to my favorite restaurant for fajitas - their fajitas are sooooo good because the shells are so much better than any others I have ever had. Apparently the waitress told me its the 'lard' that makes them so good (EWWWWW). Anyways, I had about 7 of them (YES, you read that correctly SEVEN). Afterwards we went home and had chocolate truffle birthday cake! I ate almost half the cake (again, your eyes are NOT deceiving you).

Not to mention that I had a big plate of chinese food for lunch that day.

SOOOO, that was Monday. The rest of the week was OK, but not great. I HATED counting pts on the new plan. I know I said I would give it a few weeks, but I really think that Core (simply filling) works best for me, so I'm doing that this week.

OK, Then Thursday I had the festive special at Swiss Chalet, including 2 of the truffles. Friday I went to a local deli and had an omelette with fries.

So, my 1 pound loss was really good considering.

I attribute that to my added activity last week. Also, I was telling my husband that it must have also included some divine intervention.

That being said - I KNOW that I can't be that lucky 2 weeks in a row - so its BACK ON TRACK for me today!!! We are planning on going to the Olive Garden in Buffalo on Saturday, so I will definitly be watching extra carefully what I put into my mouth between now and then.

Thanks for my blog award Lisa!!

2008-12-11T09:15:00.000-08:00

So, I just read Lisas blog and found out she picked me for this award!!!

THANKS!!!!

The rules are:

1. You have to pass it on to 5 fabulous blogs.

2. You have to list 5 of your fabulous addictions.
3. Make sure you include the person that gave you the award and link it back to them.

It's hard for me to pick 5, because they may have already been picked, but here goes (in no particular order):

Krista

And my 5 addictions are:

1. WW (especially the CORE/simply filling plan)

2. Pink - I'm with you Lisa, can't get enough

3. Bling - diamonds are a girls best friend

4. Diet Caffeine Free Pepsi

5. Wii Fit - so much fun!

WI day & new program

2008-12-08T09:19:00.001-08:00

The good news is that I was down 1.2 at WI this morning.

The bad (?) news is that we got the new program. It seems that the core program is gone. They want everyone to track from now on, and they encourage you to eat 'core' foods as often as possible, but they do want you to account for the point values of everything you eat.

Not sure how I feel about this. In a way I think its good. I think that it will help me to re-commit to the journey. It will help me to stay more focused, especially at this time of the year.

I think that I will miss the freedom of core - but sometimes I know that I took it too far, and wasn't always honest with what I was eating. BUT I've had great success. 26.4 pounds gone in 13 wi's, and all 13 of those wi's were losses.

I am definitely going to try the program out, at least for a few weeks (3), but I am also not opposed to returning to the old core program if I feel that I am not having success with momentum.

I posted a pic of me in my new jersey. I was definitely upset that the Cowboys lost yesterday, but at least they still have a chance to make the playoffs. GO COWBOYS!!

35 - man, I used to think that was OLD!

2008-12-07T06:38:00.000-08:00

And now that its here, 35 doesn't seem so bad. I'm feeling healthier than I have in a while. My knees no longer hurt when I go up the stairs at bedtime, and I just seem more positive.

My kids and hubby woke me up today with breakfast in bed (all core, what a great hubby!)

Last night was our church Christmas event, that I had been planning for the past 6 weeks. The turn out was not very good, but the weather was pretty bad so that may have played a part.
The room was GORGEOUS! I didn't decorate it, so I can't take any credit for that. I planned the program for the adults and kids. We had the kids doing crafts and the adults walked through a program set up in several rooms depicting different moments in the life of Jesus Christ. It was very reverent and I watched as people exited the final room - most people were speechless, they really seemed to be feeling the spirit of the evening. A few even had tears in their eyes. People just kept whispering to me "It was SO good -Thank you SO much for doing that."

I had been so stressed about this event, and even resentful because I was not the person who should have been planning it, but the 'powers that be' really wanted me to do it since they liked the idea that I had for it. Watching the faces of people as the left - and hearing the comments I received later - made it all worth it. I really feel now that I was important for me to do that, to help those around me to remember why we celebrate Christmas. And more importantly FOR ME, MYSELF to remember and get back to the true meaning of this holiday. I find it so easy to get busy, and wrapped up in all of the stuff that goes on this time of year - it was nice to be reminded of the important things.

My hubby and daughter missed the event. She had been sick the night before, and then just as I came home to pick them up for it, she started throwing up again. I felt so bad for her.

She is still sick today, so while my son and hubby have gone off to church, I get to snuggle up with her - SNUGGLING WITH MY DAUGHTER ON MY BIRTHDAY, SOUNDS GOOD TO ME!!!

25 lb charm!

2008-12-01T07:59:00.000-08:00

SO, at today's meeting I got my 25lb charm, I couldn't believe it!

I definitely wasn't expecting to lose 2.2 lbs this week!!! I was ecstatic!

So, I think that I am well on may way to reaching my goals. I had decided at the beginning of this journey that I would reward myself once I hit 25lbs with a football jersey that I have been wanting - so the order is in for my white and pink Tony Romo jersey - GO COWBOYS!!! When I get it I will post a pick of me in it.

Today's pic is me with my new charm on my keyring, and also me wearing my new old navy SIZE 12 jeans!!!! -yeah, they're tight, but that'll just help to keep me on track ;)

It's a good day!

Recipe as requested

2008-11-27T12:57:00.000-08:00

Faux Twice Baked Potato

1-head of Cauliflower (Approx 2lb)
½ c. fat free sour cream
4-oz - fat free cream cheese (I make my own)
¼ c. minced green onions
1/4 c. low sodium chicken broth

Topping
Shredded low-fat cheese (I like mozzarella)

Boil cauliflower approx. 20 to 30 minutes until tender, drain well.

In a large bowl, combine the cauliflower, cream cheese, chicken broth, sour cream, minced green onions. Mash it all together. Season with salt and pepper to taste.I mash it in my Kitchen Aid Mixer.

Put it in a buttered 8 X 8 casserole dish. Cover with the shredded cheese.

Place in a preheated 350° oven and bake until all the cheese has melted. Approximately 20 minutes. Garnish with chives if desired.

I love this dish - really does taste like twice baked potatoes. I guess the shredded cheese keeps it from being truly core, but I still count it as so.
YES, I'm a core 'tweaker'.

loving the support!!!

2008-11-25T15:59:00.000-08:00

My DH is doing so great! He is down 33 lbs and running 5 km at least 5 times a week.

Best of all, he is helping to keep me going!

Yesterday his aunt called to invite us to her house for Christmas dinner. She asked him if I could bring a dessert, and he told her that I would bring some fruit (I love that he made this healthy choice on his own) and then he asked if I could also bring a side dish, since we are both trying to eat low fat foods, and he knows that I make a nice CORE cauliflower dish that tastes like twice baked potatoes. When he told me all this later, I was so proud him for suggesting these things. He has totally changed his frame of mind. It used to be that I couldn't bring a dessert somewhere unless it was covered in chocolate so that he would eat it - now he wants FRUIT!!! I love it.

We really do NEED support in this journey. I used to think I could do it all on my own, but failed every time. This time around, I'm having more success than ever before and he is on board - I KNOW that the 2 are completely connected.

Momentum

2008-11-24T09:20:00.000-08:00

SO, today was wi # 11 and I have now lost for 11 straight weeks!

I am so happy with how the program is working for me. I know that I could (and should) be doing A LOT more in terms of exercising, but I do feel that for me taking baby steps in that regard is working. I used my Wii fit several times last week, and we even took the kids swimming both Saturday & Sunday. We are definitely changing our overall lifestyle as a family.

The other night I felt very tired, and while my DH went out for his run with the dog I decided that I would lay down and close my eyes for a bit. Well, I got all comfy and stayed there for about 2 mins while I thought about how proud I was of my DH for all his efforts lately (he has lost 33 lbs since I've started) and I got this overwhelming feeling that I wanted to exercise too. So, I got up off my butt and did 40 mins of a combo of aerobic and balance exercises on Wii. I felt so good afterwards.

I am excited to hear about this new program that WW has in store for us in December. I've heard that it is supposedly called MOMENTUM, and I feel good about that. I know that I have a good momentum going, and hopefully this new program will help me to get closer to and finally reach my goal. I've heard through the message boards that it is a combination of both flex and core programs. I'm very curious to see how it all works since I am a die-hard core advocate.

I hope that everyone out in cyber weight loss land is having a good start to their week! :)

My Big Boy!!

2008-11-19T05:11:00.000-08:00

Today my DS turns 5!!! See 'crazy' picture of cake face boy with his Chuck E Cheese loot! Don't ask me what he is doing with his face 'cause I have no clue!!!

I can't believe how grown up he is becoming. He amazes me everyday with something that he says.

5 years ago this morning I woke up to the horror of severely bleeding - and it was 2 months before my due date.

After a very scary day - my son was born at 5:06 pm and although we were originally told that he would have to stay in the hospital until his due date mid-January, through much prayer and one amazing little boy I was able to bring him home on my 30th birthday (December 7th).

Those two and a half weeks that he was stuck in the hospital seems so long ago - he has come so far since then. He surpassed all the timelines that the Dr's gave us for a preemie - and was even released early from the neo-natal follow up program based on his development.

I feel so grateful to have a both a daughter and a son - they are so different!!

On a side note - I skipped both the pizza and the cake at his Chuck E Cheese party yesterday!!! Hopefully I will be able to be good at Montana's tonight for his birthday dinner!

Setting Goals

2008-11-18T10:18:00.001-08:00

SO, before I start, I just want to give a SHOUT OUT to everyone who reads this blog, and especially to those who comment on it - it really helps to keep me going. YAY CYBER FRIENDS!!

So, when I reached my 10%, my leader told me that it was very important for me to set another goal. I thought about this for more than a week now, and I have decided that I will set of goal of being a total of 30 lbs lost by New Years. That means another 8 lbs in the next 6 weeks.

I think that this is reasonable based on the results that I've had lately. I put a lot of thought into this. I didn't want to set a goal that I couldn't reach, and I know that there is going to be a time when I plateau. On the other hand, I know that I have been doing all that I can do exercise wise, so I wanted to make sure that I gave myself a goal that would not be too easy either.

On a separate note: Yesterday I didn't eat so well, I ended up have 4 chicken McNuggets (with BBQ sauce) and a whole pile of pepperoni sticks. It was TOTALLY due to bad planning on my part, and letting myself get way too hungry (not good on the core plan). BOY, did I pay for that last night and this morning!!! I have spent WAY too much time in the bathroom (sorry tmi) and I still feel queasy (it's 1:30 p.m.). I hope this passes soon, my DS's birthday party is at 4 p.m.
I had plans tonight of not caring about the plan, and having a panzerotto (Mmmmmmmmm) from this place here in Whitby that makes these HUGE ones full of greasy cheesy goodness! But after how I have been feeling from yesterdays bad choices I am reminded why I am making good choices in the first place. NO PANZEROTTO for me!!

WI #10

2008-11-17T09:05:00.000-08:00

So, another Monday, another WI.
I was happy to hear that I was 1.2 down, I was SOOOOO hungry last week. I know with the core program I can eat more when I am hungry - but I just kept choosing non-core REALLY fattening thing.
I think my saving grace was that Wii fit that I got. I love using it so I have been exercising regularly.
This coming week will be tough. Its my DS's 5th birthday, which means a party at Chuck E Cheese on Tuesday (I love their pizza, I know gross right?) with cake, and then my in-laws are taking us out for dinner on Wednesday (his actual birthday) and I'm sure that there will be more cake.
Its gonna be tough, but I am going to try my best to plan for it all.

my (early) birthday present!!!

2008-11-13T13:15:00.000-08:00

So, I was telling my DH how my birthday is still more than 3 weeks away, and how that is 3 weeks less 'fit' I could be (since I have asked for Wii Fit).
Anyways, he agreed, and went to his car and pulled out my Wii Fit!!!
We all played it last night until the kids went to bed, then I did an aerobic workout on it. I'm sure that for people who frequent a gym it wouldn't feel like much of a workout - but for me it was great.
I also tried some of the yoga - man, thats hard.
So, I am SUPER happy with my early present!!!

Out of control day!

2008-11-12T05:57:00.000-08:00

SO, after all these weeks of doing well, I had a bad eating day yesterday.
The day got out of control time wise, I had so much to do. One of the things I needed to do was some baking. Usually this wouldn't be a problem for me, I usually don't eat while I am baking - but for some reason it was different. I couldn't stop eating the cookies and chocolate covered apples.
Then, to top it off - I missed dinner due to a meeting I had at my church, so I came home and made sausage rolls! A whole bunch of them.
I ate like garbage all day - but THAT WAS YESTERDAY!
Just one horrible eating day out of the last 9 WEEKS!!!
9 WEEKS!!!!!!!!!!!!
Today is a new day in this journey of mine - this journey that already has me 20 lbs down!
I feel good, I know that yesterday was bad but I am not letting it destroy the progress that I have made thus far. That was the old me. The old me let one bad day turn into a bad week, and then I would give up - GIVE UP ON MYSELF - CRAZY!!!!

NOT THIS TIME!!! I am doing this for ME! I am worth it! My family is worth it! I WILL reach my goals.

On a side note - I love that Amy C. voted Brady off last night on the Biggest Loser!!!! Way to go girl!

YIPPEE!!!!

2008-11-10T11:29:00.000-08:00

So today is WI day, and I was really hoping for the 0.4 I needed to get my 10%.

Drumroll please...........................................................

2.2!!!

So, not only did I get my 10% keyring, I also got a new 10 lb sticker since I am now over 20 lbs.

What a great way to start the week!!!

GREAT DAY!!!!

2008-11-08T17:01:00.000-08:00

Today was my DD very first ever cheerleading competition.

... and they came in 2nd!

She is SO happy!

So is mommy!!!

And a MAJOR added bonus is that even though we were at the arena all day - I didn't eat any of the garbage food there. And when we went out to eat afterwards, I chose a nice grilled chicken citrus salad.

Loving this weather

2008-11-06T09:26:00.000-08:00

I don't know how many of the people who read this live in or near the GTA, but we have been having FANTASTIC weather this week!! It feels like spring, I LOVE it.

I've been on track this week with my eating - but have only earned 3 aps thus far. I really do have a major problem with getting off my butt. There always seems to be something else that needs to be done.

This afternoon I am DEFINITLY taking a long walk with my kids though - I think that they will like it as much as I will.

My DD is competing on Saturday in her very first Cheerleading competition!!!! She is super excited, she wakes me up each morning telling me how many more sleeps until comp. Crazy thing is - I may be even more excited than her. I was a cheerleader for 4 years in high school, and I LOVED it. Seeing her do it brings back many happy memories. And the fact that she started cheering at 5 means that she will be better than I ever was by the time that she is 8 - lol. She really loves it. She gets to to gymnastics, dance and stunting all in one - plus she gets to scream her head off!!! She is SO suited to it. My DD is a LOUD, crazy bundle of energy who LOVES to perform - DEFINITLY Mommys girl!

Not to mention -she is the spitting image of me. I'll put a pic here that was taken of each of us around the age of 5 - CRAZY how similar we are. The similarities are complete - physical and emotional. She has my personality - super sensitive Drama-queen!!! Sometimes I wish she wasn't as sensitive as I am, but I can't fault her for it.

My boy is the spitting image of his Dad. Everyone always comments how our kids are not a mix of us, DD is all me and DS is all DH!!! Kind of cute.

Going to go drink a bunch of water now - lol

Great WI and oh so close.....

2008-11-03T14:20:00.000-08:00

SO, today was WI day.
(drum roll please)
.........................................................down 2.2!
While it is GREAT to say goodbye to another 2.2 lbs forever - if it had of been 0.4 more I would have got my 10% keychain. I really wanted that keychain this week, but I knew that 2.6 lbs would be hard, especially since I haven't gotten of my butt to exercise yet.
I don't know what my problem is with exercise -just lazy I guess.
I VOW to earn at least 6 APs this week.
And hey, I'll get that keychain next week ;)

Happy Halloween

2008-11-01T19:38:00.000-07:00

Just a quick post to say that I had a GREAT halloween after sewing all week.
The kids came home with over 12 lbs of candy!!! (yes, i weighed it) I could have killed the hubby for letting them get so much.
But, I've been very good with it thus far - So I'm feeling good.

Best dream EVER!

2008-10-28T10:01:00.000-07:00

So, I literally woke up today with a huge smile on my face - and for those of you who are starting to let your minds wonder into the gutter, it WASN't that kind of dream! lol
I dreamt that my DH and I were out trying on new clothes when all of a sudden I noticed that my tummy was FLAT!!!! Not fit, or fabulous - but definitly FLAT!!! I started getting super excited - and I left my change room in my undies and bra, and ran to my DH's change room to show him. Managers were banging on the door because they thought we were up to no good in there.
Kind of strange - but SO cool!! I don't think that I have ever dreamt about being at goal before. I hope this is a sign that I am in the right frame of mind to go the distance this time. I feel like I am, and even DH seems on track for himself, so I really do think, NO I really do KNOW that I am going to achieve my goal!!! And I feel strongly that I will do this by the start of next summer.
Still smiling, and its 1 p.m. now - BEST DREAM EVER!

AWESOME WI

2008-10-27T08:06:00.000-07:00

So, went for my wi on my regular day this week (Monday - today) and it was nice to see the regular leader and members again. I expected a gain since I got my period yesterday and I was feeling super bloated, yucky and gross.
Well, I got on the scale, and my new best friend (the lady who weighed me) told me I was down 2! I almost fell over - literally! I calmed down, leaned in as close to her as I could get and asked "did you say 0.2?" and she clarified "2.0!"
WOW - What a great 'weigh' to start the week!!!! I feel so motivated and encouraged to continue this journey that I am on!!!

Check out caloriecount.about.com

2008-10-25T13:08:00.000-07:00

Cool site, a friend told me about.
Totally free to use. You enter your current weight, goal weight and date that you want to achieve it by - then it tells you how may daily calories and daly activity that you need to reach this goal.
Also lets you enter your cals and activity daily to keep you on track - has thousands of foods already prorammed in - so its super easy.
Kind of neat!

Tonight, I celebrate my love !

2008-10-25T05:25:00.000-07:00

So, today marks our 11th wedding anniversary! This coming Tuesday marks 13 years since the proposal and early November is 16 years from our first date.
DH truly is my soul mate, best friend and best companion I could ever hope for.
All throughout my childhood I dreamt of being a cheerleader and dating a big dumb jock (think Moose and Midge from the Archie comics) and in high school I was a cheerleader for 4 years, and in my last year of high school I met him!
He makes me laugh everyday - even when I really don't want to laugh (like when he pisses me off).
He is SO great to our kids - they adore their dad!
We are dropping the kids off at a halloween party tonight and heading out for dinner and a movie.
I love that I am still so IN LOVE after all these years together!!!

WI went well today

2008-10-21T09:40:00.000-07:00

So I was pleasantly surprised to hear that I had a 2 lb loss this week. Core really seems to be working well for me!!! My wi buddy (who has a lot less than me to lose) lost 2.6 - she is totally rocking the program and she is doing flex.
I'm happy with my results, happy to be feeling great - and extra happy that my hubby is on board this time around and doing fantastic at his own weight loss efforts. We both rock!!!

a bit nervous

2008-10-20T17:25:00.000-07:00

So, I go for my WI tomorrow morning. Changed it from Monday to Tuesday again this week due to an appt. I really wanted to get exercising this week - but life got in the way. I have to get better about putting my health first.

5 great weeks on core!

2008-10-14T14:13:00.000-07:00

And the downward trend continues! Down 1.2!! WI'd today due to the holiday yesterday. I am so happy. I love that I managed to make it through a long holiday weekend without gorging myself. I truly feel different this time around. More motivated, and focused.
We learned about several things in our meeting today, one of them was 'winning outcomes'. A winning outcome for me would be to get fit and healthy. I realized that I am not going to get there if I don't start MOVING! I REALLY need to incorporate some exercise into my life. I earned 3 APs on our hike yesterday, so this week is off to a good start - just need to stick with it.
I want to thank all those who have been reading and commenting on this blog - I love the support :)

2008-10-13T14:37:00.000-07:00

What a great weekend!
The event I hosted at our church was fantastic - the turn out was WAY better than I expected and everyone seemed to be having a lot of fun. I stayed OP so that's a bonus.
Thanksgiving dinner went well at my house on Sunday. The inlaws came over and I was able to make almost everything core. Points only for gravy and stuffing, but I used store bought of both so that I was able to properly account for them.
Today was a GORGEOUS day here in Ontario. We took the kids with their bikes and our dog down to the lake for a nice walk on the trail. We did about 5km and then met up with some of our friends from out of town at a local playground. OP today as well, so I am actually not dreading my WI tomorrow.
In all my attempts at WW, (and there have been MANY) I have never had a post holiday wi with a loss. I think tomorrow will be different. :)

2008-10-10T20:26:00.000-07:00

Today was CRAZY busy, but I managed to still make good eating choices.
DH took us out for dinner tonight - he helped his boss out of a jam, so the boss gave him $100 and said "take your family out tonight."
We went to East Side Marios. I usually get the chicken Parmigan, but I decided to be good so instead I had the 1/4 chicken (white meat) with whole wheat pasta.
I am hosting a Fall Country Fair at our church tomorrow. The menu is chili and apple pie. I am bringing a pot of chili, that way I know that I can eat it. I can skp the pie because I will be too busy anyways helping the kids with the games. I hope that everything comes together and that all the people who are responsible for different tasks will come through for me. I am also hoping that we get good turnout. WISH ME LUCK - lol.

Having a GREAT day!!!!

2008-10-09T14:35:00.001-07:00

Today, as I was doing the grocery shopping this morning, I was feeling low. Had a bad dream last night and the feeling was staying with me.
As I arrived home with the groceries, I noticed that DH's car was still here. I was so happy that I would get to hug him before he left for work. When I came in I snuggled him for a few minutes and then he told me that he was going to wok from home today. I WAS SO HAPPY!!!
We took the kids for lunch, so they liked that. When I was busy working on my vinyl business in the afternoon - he went out for a few minutes. He came back home with a beautiful bouquet of flowers for me. SO nice.
Then after we picked up my DD at school, we went to the mall. I needed a new pair of pants. I was trying on sizes that were lower than I thought - and they FIT!!!! I got a great pair of jeans at Old Navy.
Feeling great - and TOTALLY core so far today, not one point extra.

SO SCARY!

2008-10-09T04:42:00.001-07:00

Ok, I know that I am NOT supposed to do this - but I stepped on the scale today (mid week) and I am UP about 3 pounds!!!!!! ARGHHHHHHHHH!!!
Hopefully that was the kick in the butt that I needed! I really want to continue this journey in a 'downward spiral', at least as far as the scale is concerned. I need to make sure that I get the water I need, and lots of veggies!!! Healthy proteins, and not to use up all my weekly pts with garbage!
Here I go, BACK TO IT!!!!

SOOOOO hungry!

2008-10-08T16:46:00.000-07:00

I don't know why, I am not pmsing or anything, but I am SOOOOO hungry. I have already used so many of my weekly pts, and this weekend is Thanksgiving. The only thing I have going for me, is that I am hosting dinner, so I should be able to make most of it core, but still this is crazy.
I wish I knew why I was so hungry, its not like I am exercising and could blame it on that - I have been SO lazy.
Help!!!
WI on Tuesday next week, due to Thanksgiving, and I am really hoping that its not too bad. At this rate - it could be scarier than halloween.

WI #4

2008-10-06T07:53:00.001-07:00

down 1.8 for a grand total of 11.2!!! I am so happy. I got my 10 lb sticker today.
CORE rocks!!! I am not at all worried about Thansgiving this coming weekend, because I have chosen to have it at my house, so I can control what I cook, and how I prepare it!!!
What a nice way to start the week!

My Guy

2008-10-02T06:08:00.001-07:00

He is so great. He supports me so much in this journey of mine. He loves me unconditionally and thinks I'm hot even now!! WOW!
We have been together so long that I barely remember life before him. He is EXACTLY the kind of Dad that I would want him to be, and he helps me to be a better Mom.
He is supporting me more this time around then ever before, because he is making healthier choices in his eating as well.
He is a TOTAL goof, and I love that. I always tell my children that they need to find a spouse that they can have fun with - LAUGHTER is SO important, it gets us through the hurdles in life.
I LOVE LOVE LOVE him!
~just thought I would share~

WI #3

2008-09-29T08:01:00.000-07:00

I am down another 2 lbs - which is great. Its amazing though how we set ourselves up for failure. I was really hoping for 2.6 to get to 10 lbs total, so I was a bit disappointed when she said 2. CRAZY, I'm sure that there will be weeks that I will be ecstatic for 2.
On another good note, we won a Wii at the school fun fair on Friday, so we have been having a blast playing that - my arm hurts from the tennis though - lol!

I feel GREAT!

2008-09-26T09:59:00.000-07:00

I know that it is still so early in this journey of mine, but I feel fantastic. I feel as if I am in it for the long haul. I feel as if CORE is something that I can do for life. There is nothing that I can't have (eat), and I am totally making healthier choices. Less processed food - which is great for the whole family.
My husband is so proud of me. He knows that this is something I really want, and he totally supports me. He is even trying to make changes of his own eating habits. He ACTUALLY ate 2 green beans the other night - THIS IS TRULY AMAZING!
We have a HOT date tonight. Both kids are going to a PJ party at my DD's cheer gym, so we get 3 lovely hours to ourselves. I think that we will go out for a nice, long, quiet dinner. I'm so excited.

2nd WI & WI Buddy - GOOD. Dog Groomer - BAD!

2008-09-22T10:34:00.000-07:00

Went for my 2nd WI since rejoining today - down another 2.4!!!

My friend Patty decided to come with me, so it's great to have a WI buddy now.

On a MUCH less happy note, our beautiful pooch was brutalized at the groomers this weekend. He had long gorgeous fur, and he loves to roll around in the yard so he was full of matts. We knew that he needed to be shaved down, but we were hoping that he would at least be even - instead he looks like he was groomed by the blind. Not to mention that his appointment was for 1:30 and she didn't even start him until after 4:00. At 6:00 p.m. my DH had to go and help her finish the job because she had NO CLUE!!! Saturday was NOT a good day. The above pics are what he looks like now (PUKE) versus what he normally looks like.

2008-09-16T06:37:00.000-07:00

Its driving me nuts that I can put a picture here, in my post, but I can't seem to put new ones on the side, or title as others have done.

I keep getting these error messages - ARGH!

I have, however, developed the interesting talent of being able to type while banging my head against the screen.

The Plan

2008-09-16T05:56:00.000-07:00

"When you fail to plan, you plan to fail."
~unknown

I love the WW plan. It really does work and I know it does because it has for me on several occasions. I worked the plan last week, my first week back, and I am now down 5 lbs! I was very happy to hear that number at WI.

I know from past experience that my downfall is that as I go along I begin to 'fail to plan'. Take yesterday for example, the day got away from me, and so I found myself getting VERY hungry at a few different points of the day. This is not good on CORE. You are never supposed to get super hungry, well I did. I feel that I still made 'ok' choices, but had I planned my day out more I would have been able to make GREAT choices.

The upside of yesterday is that I made a large pan of 'CORE' cabbage rolls. Ok, they are probably not completely core because the recipe called for brown sugar, but I did substitute the meat for extra-lean ground beef, and the rice for whole wheat couscous. I guess based on the amount of sugar that went into that huge pan I should probably charge myself a point per serving. I can deal with that since they are SOOOOOOOOOO yummy.

Meg & Drew had their first Ukrainian dance practice of the season last night. They really enjoy it, but it makes Monday nights hard since they have to be in Oshawa for 6pm. We usually eat dinner around 6:30, so it means that we have to be done dinner by 5:30 which throws the night off for us all. Oh well, we'll handle it. It means however that they come home from dance and want a snack before bed (since they have worked up an appetite) and I am not really keen on letting them eat before bed.

Off to PLAN my day!
GO COWBOYS!

My Story

2007-01-31T09:16:00.000-08:00

My Story:

I was not an over-weight child. I was average in high school. I think I spent most of those years around 125-135 but I am very short 4'11". I did feel that I was heavier than most of my friends, but I think that most teenage girls feel that way. I was captain of the cheerleaders, and very active in extra-curricular activities.

After high-school I partied A LOT. We went clubbing Mondays, Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays every week, and sometimes other nights as well if something interesting was going on. I also ate very poorly during that time - mostly fast food.

When my now DH, returned from University we were ALWAYS together. He is a 'Big-Guy', 6'1" and very broad shoulders. We started eating out all the time, and always snacking. I started eating just like him - even worked my way up to the same portions as him sometimes - SCARY!

By the time we got engaged I was about 175lbs. I got myself down to 165 for the wedding (1997) - but I definitely did not make the picture perfect bride. Over the next 4 years I stayed around the 175 mark - THEN CAME THE KIDS!

From October 2001 to October 2004 I was either pregnant or nursing. There was no break in between. This was very detrimental to my physique. It really changed the whole shape of my body.

I have yo-yo dieted a lot of over the years, never happy being heavy.

I've done many weight loss/diets before, but was always happiest with WW, so I am back, this time I plan on becoming a lifetime member!!!